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All the times I tried to steal my best for you And I threw it up to keep it down And watch it burn I hate the sound Fix Me, by Marianas Trench

Emo Forums » Other (Reply)

victhevamp
Posts: 2305
Chav jokes May 21 2008, 02:40 AM
I think everyone has heard the daft emo jokes like "my lawn is so emo it cuts itself" but what about chav jokes?
What do you call a Chav at college? The cleaner
lol anyone know any good ones?

Replies

Emo Pictures - WitherdRose
WitherdRose
Posts: 1459
Nov 04 2008, 11:20 PM
no way not happening i am the most un funny person ever.. the only time people laugh at my jokes is when i don't mean them too :(
Emo Pictures - Tantra_B
Tantra_B
Posts: 3019
Nov 14 2008, 07:07 AM
Ohh :(
selfhater
Posts: 678
Nov 21 2008, 08:47 PM
Why doesn't Viagra work on chavs? Cos they only get hard when they've got ten mates behind them. What's the difference between roadkill and a dead chav? Roadkill has skid marks in front of it. I was walking home last night when some chav jumped out and drew a knife on me. The little fucker used permanent marker and it was a bastard to wash off. Two chavs race their Novas off a cliff to see who hits the bottom first. Who wins? Society. What's the most confusing day of the year for a chav? Father's day. Two chavs in a car going 80 mph. Who's driving? Stevie Wonder, hopefully. What do you call a chav on fire? Blazin'. What do you call a group of chavs on fire? Blazin' Squad. None of these are mine so i can not take any credit, jokes are sourced from www.sickipedia.org
Emo Pictures - xXeMoRaCeRXx
xXeMoRaCeRXx
Posts: 18267
Nov 22 2008, 10:44 AM
Haha love them!
victhevamp
Posts: 2305
Nov 27 2008, 09:14 AM
I was walking home last night when some chav jumped out and drew a knife on me. The little fucker used permanent marker and it was a bastard to wash off. LOL that one is ace, great jokes :D
selfhater
Posts: 678
Nov 28 2008, 06:56 PM
What do you call a burberry snowball? A chavalanche. chavs: Are you available to come to a charity pancake competition on Shrove Tuesday? The organisers have the pans and the ingredients they just need a tosser. A chav is talking to an Oxford graduate. He asks "Where are you from?" The graduate replies, "I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions." chav, "OK, where are you from, CUNT?" A chav's daughter was just about to go out. The mum shouts, "if you're not in bed by midnight, come home!" An 18 year old chav gets caught burgling a house and goes to prison. When he gets there, he's taken to his cell where he meets his cell-mate, an 18 stone bruiser covered in tattoos. Once the door is locked, this monster sits there staring at the youngster, who is becoming very nervous. Eventually, the prisoner breaks the silence. "Do you want to play mummies and daddies with me?" he growls. Scared to anger him, the chav whimpers "o.... o.k." "Good. now... do you want to be mummy or daddy?" thinking fast, he replies "Erm, I'll be the daddy." "Right. Now come over here and suck mummy's cock." A man walks into a pub and straight away the barman says, bloody hell dave, where have you been? dave replies ive been in prison mate, got nicked for burning a load of chavs with petrol oh god replies the barman, what did you get? well dave answers about 8 to the gallon In a recent survey, Britain's chavs were asked if they wanted the Pound or the Euro as their currency. They said neither, and that they'd prefer to stick with the giro. How do you make a chav take off his socks? Ask him to count to twenty.
Emo Pictures - Tantra_B
Tantra_B
Posts: 3019
Dec 04 2008, 03:32 PM
Cheers SelfHater for this joke: "Why doesn't Viagra work on chavs? Cos they only get hard when they've got ten mates behind them." I've been telling everyone at college it :D
Emo Pictures - Tantra_B
Tantra_B
Posts: 3019
Dec 04 2008, 03:34 PM
"A chav's daughter was just about to go out. The mum shouts, "if you're not in bed by midnight, come home!" "How do you make a chav take off his socks? Ask him to count to twenty." Haha! Ah you managed to find some pretty good jokes :D Nice one! Really put a smile on my face xD
selfhater
Posts: 678
Dec 04 2008, 03:40 PM
haha anytime tantra b. they are all taken from www.sikipedia.org some good jokes, some bad, none politically correct really. but still its allways a laugh
Emo Pictures - xXeMoRaCeRXx
xXeMoRaCeRXx
Posts: 18267
Dec 04 2008, 04:18 PM
Chav jokes are so much funnier than emo jokes! Mmmm then again I'm not a chav :D
selfhater
Posts: 678
Dec 04 2008, 04:23 PM
i think its because chavs are not very good at taking criticism. you know many of them have poor vocabulary, not very well educated. im not saying that the emo culture is the most educated, intelligent culture around however, generally there is a better ilk of person within said culture, who can take criticism slightly better.
SomeMorbidKid
Posts: 2574
Dec 05 2008, 11:35 AM
Never even heard any emo jokes except the ones at the start of the topic :P yay, we're not funny XD
selfhater
Posts: 678
Dec 12 2008, 01:55 AM
did you know that with all the global warming, they reckon that 20 million chavs worldwide will drown? on a more serious note, my snowmans just melted :'(
Emo Pictures - WitherdRose
WitherdRose
Posts: 1459
Dec 12 2008, 03:49 AM
^hehe^
SomeMorbidKid
Posts: 2574
Dec 12 2008, 10:49 AM
:( aww, poor snowman. Shame about those chavs XD
Dec 12 2008, 11:58 AM
want something funny go on you tube and watch chav's on the moon
selfhater
Posts: 678
Dec 12 2008, 12:08 PM
LOL taht is great!
Dec 12 2008, 12:10 PM
i no mate showed it leods of chavs and it pissed them off
selfhater
Posts: 678
Dec 12 2008, 12:11 PM
ahahahaha thats made me laugh so hard. i nearly wee'd myself
SomeMorbidKid
Posts: 2574
Dec 13 2008, 04:26 AM
lol that was pretty good..

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