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You're sick of feeling numb You're not the only one I'll take you by the hand And I'll show you a world that you can understand Pain, by Three Days Grace

Emo Forums » Help And Advice (Reply)

Emo Pictures - xXeMoRaCeRXx
xXeMoRaCeRXx
Posts: 18262
alternatives Mar 12 2009, 02:11 PM
not sure if i should write this but who cares every morning i wake up and go on with my pathetic torture and well i dont want to end up cutting myself because if it doesnt help ill be stuck with scars on my wrists so id like some alternatives if thats ok

Replies

Mar 12 2009, 11:17 PM

First off, please don't start cutting yourself. It really does become an addiction. Don't start because it's hard to stop. I did it for almost 6 years. Nothing good comes of it.

Instead, you should try exercise or something that gets your endorphins flowing. That's what cutting does: releases endorphins which make you feel good.

Find an activity you like and every time you feel down, go do whatever it is.

 

Emo Pictures - xXxChrisJWxXx
xXxChrisJWxXx
Posts: 1546
Mar 13 2009, 07:41 AM
I used to self harm a lot, the following are things I have tried myself, try them and try not to self harm or hurt yourself, my arm and foot look horrid to me with all the scars ]= 1) Put an elastic band on your wrist and flick it so it stings 2) Draw on your arm with a pen pressing hard but not hard enough to cut 3) Scrub yourself with like a body scrub so it hurts 4) Scrub your arm with a toothbrush 5) Breathe deeply 6) Call a friend, your therapist or a crisis line. 7) Try not be be alone (visit a friend, go shopping, etc.) 8) Take a hot bath. 9) Listen to music (soothing perhaps- Papa Roach or the Manics might not be a good idea!) 10) Go for a walk (Seems to be especially good for some when it's raining!!!) 11) Write in a journal 12) Write poetry- it'll be dark, but it'll be raw emotional, and that's good - it's a less harmful way of releasing things. 13) If you tend to have decent runs of not SI-ing, then fail and do it, do a tally. Write 'days I self injured' in one column, and 'days I didn't' in the other. At the end of every day, draw a line in either colomn, depending on if you self injured or not that day. Over time, those tallys in the 'didn't SI' box will grow, making you feel better. 14) Squeeze ice cubes in your hands - the cold causes pain in your hands, but it is not dangerous or harmful (some people find it relieves the urge to harm themselves for that moment). 15) Punching a bed or a pillow (when nothing but a physical outlet for your anger and frustration will work), or any kind of sport- even if it's just pressups and situps in your own room- burns away the energy to harm, but try not to hurt yourself. 16) Meditation (AKA self hypnotism if you want to call it that) Type One- Just sit down comfortably, eyes closed and take long, slow breaths - concentrating on the breath itself as it goes in and out and nothing else. After even eight or nine breaths, as long as you keep them slow, you can feel more relaxed. The more the better! Type Two- sit down comfortably, eyes closed and repeat to yourself a word which indicates something you want to have that you don't (emotions wise) or a state you want to be in- like 'happiness. happiness, happiness' or 'confidence, confidence, confidence'. The idea is that in time, you 'fool yourself' that you HAVE these things, and in doing so you DO have them because it's YOU that gives them to you in the first place!! Scratch draw a picture on a thick piece of wood or use a screw driver and stab at the piece of wood. (can be another physical way to release your emotions without harming yourself.) If you don't think you can 'trust yourself' with a screwdriver please avoid this alternative. 17) Avoid temptation (i.e. avoiding the area in shops/ home where the razor blades are kept, etc.) 18) Try to find your own creative ways as outlets for emotions - writing, drawing, painting, etc. 19) Learn to confront others/making your own feelings known instead of keeping them inside, but pick your trustees carefully! 20) Go outside and scream and yell. 21) Take up a sport (a form of exercise can help you release tension, etc. - it doesn't have to be at a club or gym if you don't want; sport's sport wheverer and whenever you do it.) 22) Work with paint, clay, play-dough, etc. (Calm the urge to self-injure, plus it gives some idea of what might be underlying the pain) 23) Draw a picture of what or who is making you angry. 24) Write a letter to the person who's making you feel this way (if there is one)- you don't ever have to send it; it may be best to burn it afterwards, but just writing it down helps work stuff out. 25) Instead of harming yourself, try massaging the area you want to harm with massage oils or creams, reminding yourself that you are special and you deserve to treat yourself and your body with love and respect. 26) Go to church or your place of worship- not necissarily an 'established' place of worship- the natural world, for example, is pretty spiritual- parks or a lake, I used to go to a river in a forest. 27) Break, bury or throw away the object that you use to self-injure as a way to show that you have control over it. 28) Do some household chores (i.e. cleaning). 29) Do some cooking. 30) Try some sewing, crossstitch, etc. 31) Recite a poem, prayer or anything else familiar the comforts you, multiple times. 32) Write down all your positive points and why you do not deserve to be hurt. Keep it to refer to in the future. 33) Allow yourself to cry. Getting the tears out can make you feel better. It allows the inside to release, as opposed to self abuse. Imagine it's your pain pouring out as you cry. 34) Take a shower. 35) Write down a word best associated with what you are feeling (i.e. horrible, sad, lonely, angry) and continue to write it down, over and over. Sometimes when you do that, the words looks silly etc., and it puts humour or a smile in your life. 36) Sing a song on what you are feeling. It's another way to get it outside. Shout if you feel, etc. Let the words just come to you. You could sing along with an angry song you know, I used to use a few Nickleback songs 37) Scribble on paper. Clutch the pen in your fist. It's a way to diffuse your emotions on to paper. (Get a few sheets so they don't tear.) 38) Take item you are self injurying with and use it against something else. For example, if you are using a razor blade, rip it across a towel. Sometimes seeing what "can" be done to an object can make a person think twice about using it on themselves. Can also give the feeling of "doing it"...the tangible aspect. 39) Make a list of reasons why you are going to stop cutting and why you should continue, there are usually more reasons to stop than to continue. 42) Tell yourself that you can't cut for another 5 minutes. If you make it 5 minutes then I tell yourself to wait another 5 minutes. Sometimes you might no longer feel like cutting after only 5 minutes. Try not to cut for a certain time and increase that time as time goes on. 43) Make a list of friends you can call. 44) Focus on what is real and around you right then. There is no such thing as the past or the future- only the now! 45) Give yourself rewards, even if they're stupid, mundane little things like watching a TV show you like or eating a food you like - and indulge yourself in these things when you feel bad - makes you remember there are good things in life, however small. 46) Be aware of the world- say to yourself what you see. ie. The couch is green. The light is on. I can feel my shoe pinching my foot. This can sometimes be enough to ground you. 47) Make a contract with someone you care about and who cares about you. You don't have to 'know' them in the real world - internet friends are fine. Make sure you try to get in touch with them when you feel unsafe. (But of course don't get extra depressed, with internet friends, if they aren't around because they aren't online - that's why having phone numbers is better.) 48) Create an internal safe place where you can go. In a time when you feel safe and secure, create a room or a garden or any safe area inside yourself where you can retreat to and get away from external stresses. Add as many details as you can to make it real for you. 49) Get a warm drink and curl up in a warm place with a stuffed animal. Buy yourself a special stuffed toy if you do not already have one. Make yourself some tea or hot chocolate (or even coffee if the caffeine doesn't bother you) and curl up under a nice warm comforter or blanket with lots of pillows. 50) Put on a (happy) movie. 51) Post at a self injury bullitin board on the web. (Be careful to avoid triggery posts, but talk to people- it's totally anonymous, so just type how you feel- you might find some people who know what you're going through.) 52) Try not to be to hard on yourself for feeling this way. Try not to beat yourself up inside by calling yourself names or expecting yourself to just "not feel this way" or to "snap out of it." This internal namecalling and self-verbal abuse will only make you feel worse. 53)Tell yourself how you feel now will not last forever. It is hard to remember that while you are in the midst of these feelings, but EVERYTHING changes. Just focus on you and what you need to do to get through these feelings as safely as you can. 54) Try something physical and violent, something not directed at a living thing, such as; Slash an empty plastic soda bottle or a piece of heavy cardboard or an old shirt or sock. Make a soft cloth doll to represent the things you are angry at. Cut and tear it instead of yourself. Flatten aluminum cans for recycling, seeing how fast you can go. Use a pillow to hit a wall, pillow-fight style. Rip up an old newspaper or phone book. On a sketch or photo of yourself, mark in red ink what you want to do. Cut and tear the picture. Throw ice into the bathtub or against a brick wall hard enough to shatter it. Break sticks. Crank up the music and dance. Stomp around in heavy shoes. 55) Use light sweet-smelling incense and listen to soothing music. 56) Make a tray of special treats and tuck yourself into bed with it and watch TV or read. Visit a friend. 57) Slap a tabletop hard with another object. 58) Clap hard. 59) Take a cold bath or immerse your arm/leg into icy water. 60) Play a difficult computer game but don't let it stress you. 61) Choose an object in the room. Examine it carefully and then write as detailed a description of it as you can. Include everything: size, weight, texture, shape, color, possible uses, feel, etc. 62) Choose a random object, like a paper clip, and try to list 30 different uses for it. 63) Pick a (safe) subject and research it on the web. 64) Take a small bottle of liquid red food coloring and warm it slightly by dropping it into a cup of hot water for a few minutes. Uncap the bottle and press its tip against the place you want to cut. Draw the bottle in a cutting motion while squeezing it slightly to let the food color trickle out. 65) Get a henna tattoo kit. You put the henna on as a paste and leave it overnight; the next day you can pick it off as you would a scab and it leaves an orange-red mark behind.
Emo Pictures - xXeMoRaCeRXx
xXeMoRaCeRXx
Posts: 18262
Mar 13 2009, 09:56 AM
Great advice for dealing with self-harm issues ^

Also try using the "search" function to find other topics related to self harm and depression as there have been a few.
Mar 14 2009, 08:41 PM
thanks for the alternatives most of those ive never thought of
Emo Pictures - xXxChrisJWxXx
xXxChrisJWxXx
Posts: 1546
Mar 15 2009, 07:58 AM
youre welcome
Emo Pictures - xXxChrisJWxXx
xXxChrisJWxXx
Posts: 1546
Mar 17 2009, 12:44 PM
Alternatives do vary for different types of "self harmer", the following are descriptive alternatives Anger and frustration : Feeling so wound up and annoyed that you want to scream and shout. (in this case animals would claw at themselves). Low self esteem (punishment): Feeling so undervalued and low that you want to harm and feel you may even deserve it. Dissociation : Feeling so overwhelmed by everything going on around, you want to escape or distract yourself by making a louder metaphorical noise. Control and focus : Feeling that so much is out of your control that the only thing that you can control is the harm you inflict on yourself. Self nurture : Feeling unreal and needing to harm to know you exist, or to help yourself heal. Anger/ frustration Trying screaming/ crying/ hugging someone. Try having a cold shower. Try biting on something like a lemon to give you a sharp sensation. Try exercising, going for a walk/ run. Try hitting something not alive, for example a pillow or punch bag. Perhaps talking to the object you are hitting, explaining what's wrong. Try making a soft cloth doll, rip/cut it up to represent how you feel instead of doing it to yourself. Try listening to loud/ angry music, dance/ sing along. Try dropping ice into a bath or throwing it against a wall so it shatters, or hit a tree with a stick. You could also slash up a plastic bottle, flatten cans for recycling. Try making clay models to smash. Try squeezing silly putty then stretching it until it snaps. Try talking to someone. Low self esteem Try pampering yourself - whatever makes you feel taken care of/comforted. For example having a bath, listening to soothing music, burning incense, making a tray of 'treats' then watching t.v. or reading, getting a haircut or buying a happy meal. Try phoning or visiting a friend, talk, hug or do something together. Try crying. Try soothing body lotion on the areas you want to harm. Try being creative, making play dough models or a collage, writing or painting. Try thinking of not harming as punishment if you feel you need to be punished. Try listing the good things about yourself. Disassociation Try squeezing ice or putting a hand in a mixture of water, salt and ice for a few seconds. Try putting a rubber band around a wrist then pinging it when you need to. Try taking a cold/hot shower. Try biting into something like a lemon or a hot pepper. Try doing something creative like making a collage, write poetry, bake or paint. Try to focus on breathing. Try to play taxing games like tetris, minesweeper or snake. Try choosing an object in the room and describing it as you would to a blind person - its size, weight, colour etc. Try scribbling on paper. Try being around people, perhaps playing games with a younger sibling, hugging someone or helping someone else. Try opening the dictionary in random places and learning new words, also try thinking in another language as you may have to simplify your thoughts. Try creating a mental 'safe place'. Control and focus Try squeezing ice. Try putting a rubber band around a wrist then pinging it when you need to. Try taking a cold/hot shower. Try biting into something like a lemon. Try to focus energy into something positive like exercise, sport or noticing how you breathe. Try ripping or crumpling paper, could collage the ripped pieces or scribble on them. Try doing something creative like making play dough models. Try screaming, breaking sticks, punching pillows. Try getting out of the house, going to talk to a friend or getting a haircut. Try solving a puzzle, playing solitare, tetris, minesweeper or snake. Try setting a target time, for example saying you can harm in 15 minutes, then if you can last, going another 15 minutes. Try cleaning. Try thinking in another language. Try learning something new. Self nurture Try taking a hot shower. Try exercising or going for a walk. Try drawing on yourself with red pen or paint or dropping red food colouring on the areas you would normally harm. Try using henna tattoo paste to draw on yourself. Try creating a mental 'safe place'.
Emo Pictures - CourtneyHatesYou
CourtneyHatesYou
Posts: 8
Mar 20 2009, 07:55 PM
when my dad died i got so pissed i shut everyone out and i startd cutting myself and i would do whatever i could t feel external pain that way no one would be able to tell how upset i really was.then my best friend opened up to me and (it might seem selfish on your end but it truly helped) told me all of her issues..thats how i deal with it... i listen to all my friends issues and stuggles nd i end up forgetting all about mine.. i havnt cut in a long long time :) i see my scars as battle wounds and ive overcome the worst of the battle :)..my advice..find somthing to distract you.anything thats not destructive to you!i help my friends and give them advice. it works for mee :)
Emo Pictures - Vybz
Vybz
Posts: 1470
Aug 10 2009, 06:43 PM
i like to take time for quiet reflection and prayer Also music helps me as well
DoctorHappyPHD
Posts: 184
Aug 10 2009, 07:07 PM
Take a pen and hide it in your pocket and every time you feel and urge you jam it into your leg and the pain does some damn good. If not that then I would recommend water burning, it has become quite popular other than cutting.
LipsOfDeceit
Posts: 2174
Aug 13 2009, 02:02 PM
erm I got directed to this site once. <a href="http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinformation.aspx"> I can't remember much about it but have a look around and see what you can find
Emo Pictures - emosk8ter
emosk8ter
Posts: 60
Sep 06 2009, 11:47 PM
Holy fucking shit. Are you planing to right a book 1 day? Jk dude. Atleast you care about most of us.
LipsOfDeceit
Posts: 2174
Sep 11 2009, 03:28 PM
cut paper instead it's effective ^,^
Sep 11 2009, 04:23 PM
I dunno bout all that but like i stopped slicen when weed was introduced into my life.. but don't abuse weed trust me you don't wanna end up a druggy cuz goin to school thinking your an airplane... yea... not the funnest thing
DoctorHappyPHD
Posts: 184
Sep 13 2009, 08:23 AM
Good job moron! You manged to ruin your life even more! Congratz! Now your not emo, your just a stupid pot head!
LipsOfDeceit
Posts: 2174
Sep 14 2009, 08:09 AM
You're so considerate...
DoctorHappyPHD
Posts: 184
Sep 16 2009, 02:36 AM
Please do make me rant about consideracy, which is sense is a falseness made up by the human mind to get a feeling of good in the world when there is none.
Emo Pictures - DeadxStar
DeadxStar
Posts: 69
Sep 17 2009, 02:06 AM
Oh Doctor Wingnut, how I've missed thee. :'D
LipsOfDeceit
Posts: 2174
Sep 17 2009, 12:02 PM
^ Dito hahaha :P
XxxcuteemoxxX
Posts: 272
Sep 20 2009, 10:57 AM
i use to self harm and dont start pls cus u will never be able to stop.. i still supprise myself sometimes when i dont and do something else to get rid of the pain.. i nw hav a hair alastic round my arma that i flick myself with .. sometimes i go a bit to hard that it bruises so dont do that but bruises fade scars dont.. i also write poetry it releases my anger onto the page or listen to really heavy music and scream at the top of ur lungs.. it works .. trust me.. find someone who can really understand u and love u who u can go to and jst hug and cry in tere arms without them even asking wats wrong u jst knw they r there for u.. like my bf.. he pulled me out of this really dark hole i was sinking in after last skool term.. i dont knw if any of this will help but hay nd it also looks like chris has covered everything hehe.. xxx
Sep 22 2009, 04:18 AM
beer!!! beer!!! beeeeer!!! more beer!!

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