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Lie to me, Convince me that I've been sick forever. And all of this, Will make sense when I get better. But I know the difference, Between myself and my reflection. I just can't help but to wonder, Which of us do you love. So I bleed breathe no more, by Evanescence

Emo Forums » Emo Poetry (Reply)

-Peices-of-Me-
Posts: 42
unfinished Jul 05 2009, 11:34 AM
so ya these are songs or poems i havent finished and id apreciate feedback :) tell me what i need to fix IF YOU WANT TO CRY dedicated to devon </3 your the one in the corner of the room razor in your hand im the one praying you keep holding on the one who always has a plan and if you want to cry ill cry with you just so you wont be alone if you wanted to leave we'd do it so we would never be unknown and when the sky is raining blood we wont bother trying to escape the flood we'll just lay there together and cry over the world if i asked you to sit beside me and forget the pain inside would you drop it all and grab my hand and look into my eyes and whisper all the filthy lies you always used to sing promising a lasting hurt all with just one ring so untill you stop your compulsive lying, ill listen to my sad sad songs ill lay here inescapably crying praying i wont breath shallow for too long i cant just stand here and cry and wait cause by the time you get here itll be too late YOUR ANGEL dont call me an angel, an angel couldn't fall as far as i've already fallen, i hear you calling but i choose to ignore your lies, its no surprise, take a last look, cause these lights are going out for good and an angel doesnt cry all the time ignore all the warning signs an angel could never hurt this much INVINCIBLE if you kiss me just as hard as you hit me last night it might feel right to you but im still hurting inside and now my outside is bruised like it didnt already hurt enough you broke my fragile heart, my breakable trust why is my mouth bleeding, oh thats right its that razor from last night, who knew it was the wake up i was needing, but back to no feeling, empty eyes and smile and its been like this for awhile if hurting is illegal then you can arrest me, hold me to the floor, tie me up just to test me, theres nothing you can do that hasnt already been done but give it a shot, i bleed just for fun

Replies

Emo Pictures - Vybz
Vybz
Posts: 1470
Jul 05 2009, 05:23 PM
the first work took a little twist I would have to see the other work to offer healthy criticism , what i see so far is good, and your thoughts flow fairly well nice to see some poetry post though keep it up.
Emo Pictures - Ex_emo_Goth_chick
Ex_emo_Goth_chick
Posts: 16
Jul 17 2009, 04:19 PM
I really Like Invincible... all your poetry is very deep. I quite like it. If its ok, I would like to use Invincible as an example in my English assignment. I think it fits really well with my topic. L8er!

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