Emo Scene Community

yes im a 15 year old girl May seem to young to be having boyfriends and thinking about love and shit But since i started about 2 years ago ive had 10 boyfriends and 1 girlfriend. 8 boyfriends of which asked me out then dumped me afew weeks later. 1 who was called Ross i went out for 5 and a half months but then i ended up dumping him casue of temptation and still kinda do regret to this day cause everything has gone downhill since then. the other 2 i dumped one was also due to temptation the other(latest one) as cause i rush it like ive done to all my previous relationships! I've cried,drunk,been sick and cut casue of relationships and i wish i never fucking started in the frist place!! I have also been used by afew of these boys and others which have been recent (under 2 months) n this other boys consists of 2 in which i now want to kill myself yet wont casue of will power to be honest. Not justa ll that ive fucked up peoples lives casue of what i say or do and others hit which has happened to me Some find it quite amazing im still here. I just want to find the one who will love me for who i am and help me through life unlike the others wo just make it worse :'( cause of them i dunno who to trust. i dunno if i can even trust myself anymore sorry for being all derpessing n stuff but i just wanted to say some of the problems which make em what i am now which isnt great i just basically want ot say to people who havnet been though this t o take there time finding someone, dont rush things otherwise youll jsut hurt yourself and if you havent hada boyfriend/girlfriend yet to not cry about it but b greatful i mean most of the time i feel relationships just fuck up which then fucks you and your life up FiFiTheVampBitcxh