Emo Scene Community

So I went to the doctor's yesterday... It gave me more reasons to hate myself. Where should I start? I have Schizoaffective Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Severe Self Harming problems, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Major Depression, Anxiety attacks, Social Phobia and a little friend called Orthorexia. Really? Fml. For those of you who don't know what most of those are, I'll give you some descriptions. Schizoaffective Disorder - A brain disorder that distorts the way a person thinks, acts, expresses emotions, perceives reality and relates to others. It ties in with feelings of sadness, worthlessness or hopelessness, as well as problems concentrating and remembering details. Borderline Personality Disorder - A condition in which a person makes impulsive actions, and has an unstable mood and chaotic relationships. Orthorexia - An eating disorder that ties in with Anorexia and Bulima. It's a mix of both but excessive excerise is involved. I'm going to be hospitalized for a few months D: I don't want to go ! Most of my issues were brought on by cutting. Who knew? Let this be a warning to those who think cutting is so "legit" and they're "so cool" for cutting. It's not all fun and games. Those people create the guidelines for posers. I don't know what to do. I'm scared. I'm beyond addicted to cutting. Same with weed. I'm falling apart... I've had teachers tell me that they're surprised I haven't already committed suicide. Well you know what, I'm awfully close. Help? Please... :'(