Emo Scene Community

Okay, there's this boy I like. Some backstory: I befriended him because he hangs around my little girl cousin. He is a little less than a year older than me. He used to go to my school but now he's moved. He doesn't live that far away. We just started talking a few weeks ago via facebook, but we are like...Exactly the same. The only difference is that he is an atheist and that he is a boy. Even our initials are exactly the same. He is bisexual (not sure if that is important but whatever) but he likes girls more than boys. He is kinda shy and socially awkard like me, but once he starts talking he gets really comfortable. Um...He's a virtuso (He plays like over ten instruments) and he writes and draws and yeah. Pretty much a personal dream. So, to make this more neat I'm going to write what happened in a dialogue format. Well, yesterday was my birthday and I had a little pool party and my cousin (the one who he hangs around with) and I where talking with him. I can't really remember how it came up... Boy: "-Yeah, we made out once at the skate park." Cousin: (Shocked) "What the hell!" (angrily) "That was just between me and you! Why would you say that? Geez. It was a one time thing, -Manita-." Boy: (Laughs and shrugs) "It's not that bad." Me: "Yeah, why would you have to keep that a secret? There's nothing wrong with that, you know. Things happen. Don't be embarrased. " Cousin: "Well...Well, I mean... How would you feel if I had just said...That earlier you where feeling self conscious about busting out of your bathing suit?" Me: (embarrased and angry) "W-what!? Well, excuse me for being busty and having a nice arse!" The subject got dropped from there and so later I talked to her about it. She said it was a one time thing and there was nothing more to say about it. She didn't apologize to me but I said that I didn't want this or anything to come between us and she concured and said she didn't want to lose me. I said that nothing would ever make her lose me because we are family and that I loved her and that was that. I wanted to get his side of the story and it went a little something like this (via facebook chat): Boy: You messaged me earlier about what was said? Did I say something wrong, or did I do something wrong? Me: No! No, of course not. You didn't do anything wrong, haha. I just wanted to know about you and my cousin. Boy: I'm a little confused. Me: You know, abou the skatepark thing. Boy: Oh, well. It was a one time thing. Nothing really happened. Me: Oh, so...Do you like her? Boy: Well, I used to but I don't anymore. You can't tell her! Please don't tell her I told you that. Me: Okay. We sorta dropped it there and he just said that he had fun at my party and he had to go but if I wanted to talk to message him. He doesn't know I like him. I think it would be a little creepy to say since my party was only about the second time we talked in person. So here's what's confusing me. My morals dictate that I shouldn't pursue him because my cousin still has feelings for him. Even if he doesn't like her, I don't want to hurt her. (She's going through tough times right now and I don't think it'll be anytime soon she will be getting out of them. Emotional problems too.) But my head is telling me that since she sorta got us together and talking in the first place, did she want to see us go out or what? Because it actually seems that way. If she likes him, why would she do that? My mother thinks I should follow my heart but my heart is quiet, waiting for me to make my options clear. And I don't know what they are so I can't choose anything. I just feel so...So... I can't even describe it. Sort of like empty and hurt and guilty and euphoric at the same time. I think because she liked him first I shouldn't go there, but... I don't know. I don't know what to do. I guess... I guess I'm asking what you think I should do or what my options are. Sorry for the long post and thank you for reading through it.