Emo Scene Community

Hey everyone. So I think I have mentioned something about having a problem with someone from my school with the whole enemy/friend thing some time ago. Well when a friend told me she was saying personal stuff to people about me like how I want to be a boy and saying that I am bi/lesbian when I am not, I talked to teacher about it and I ended up crying after class. I didn't want to bring my parents in it since they would have overeacted big time (I am serious. they would shitted bricks) over this problem I have with this girl. But I felt that I needed to do something this time. I constantly get told she is saying something about me and I normally don't care but when I heard she was going around telling people about my gender dysphoria, I freaked out. It's not something I want people I know, knowing about. Some people cannot handle or except things like that. For some, if you are like that, you a miserable excuse for a human being, like you are a disease. I don't want to spend my 8th grade year being harrassed by others by it. And sometimes I wonder if she is just feels that my gender dysphoria is something that is funny, stupid, or a way to get back at me. And it hurts. A lot. so much. And I don't think she realizes that. It's not something that is easy for me to got through. I have to constantly deal with the fact that I hate my body. That I would probably do anything to have a male body. That I feel like I have to wind myself up everyday to make it through another. I despise myself just because I was probably born in the wrong body. And she just goes around like it's something funny. I felt so horrible. Like I wanted to curl up and cry right then and there. But I honestly don't think she meant for it to hurt as much as it did. I think she was just venting since she is obviously still angry with me. But I think she should know, with everyone there is a limit to what you can say. And last Friday I was the day that I finally talked to her. And I think I finally realized just how much I've hurt her. And the one thing I feel I should do now, is tell her how sorry I am. I just don't how to do it. I know I am the last person she wants to hear from. There is a part of me that wants to go tell her I'm sorry and that I never meant to hurt her to that much of an extent, but another part of me wants to completely avoid her at all costs and just not speak to her again. I just don't know what to do at this point. We've done so much to each other, I just don't know anymore. I've written an apology to her through my deviantart since she was one of my watchers so I assume she saw it but I know she blocked me a day after I posted it so I don't know if she saw it or not. I want to tell her I'm sorry verbally but I don't think I can handle it. I'm afraid I'll end up breaking down and crying. I just want this fighting between us to end. I just so sick of fighting with her. Please tell me what I should do! I don't know what do at this point!