Emo Scene Community

Hey guys I came here to talk about a subject very close to me that effected me greatly it was my battle with anorexia back in 2009-2010. I'm a guy first off so eating disorders are kinda rare in guys but they get them too and i just wanted to share my story with you guys. I was in seventh grade back in 2008-2009 TERRIBLE time in my life I was very insecure (all my life I have been really) and was always getting made fun of in school people would do whatever to get me upset gang up on me call me names etc. I was a chubby kid with glasses and mild autism and people would harrass me everyday to the point where i wouldn't want to go to school. my friends all backstabbed me and told me to kill myself. i would say around the turn of the year 2009 i started eating less. i was very stressed out due to the constant harrassment. part of me felt like i deserved it and that maybe I would be better if I was "skinny". i felt like people would care about me more if i was more like them. I started off skipping breakfast and throwing my lunch away. my parents didn't catch on at first and i started hiding my dinner in napkins and throwing it away. Around feburary i had lost a good 15 pounds people were noticing. My mom referred me to the local pederatrian who told me that i was normal and didn't need to lose anymore weight of course i didn't listen i thought i was fat. Anorexia is a condition where you are never too skinny you believe that skinnier you are the more beautiful you are so i kept on doing my thing. I would eat a cup (no more no less) of dry cheerios for dinner. I never spoke to anyone at school i sat at an empty lunch table. I kept losing weight. I started seeing another pedetraian regularly who put me on meds that didn't help. Over the summer of 2009 i basically locked myself in my room eating raw veggies and playing videogames all day. My hair was falling out and my entire family was creeped out about me becuase i was like a zombie. 8th grade rolled around people were shocked i weighed like 90 pounds. Of course people were worried about me since i lost so much weight. I thought this was a good thing because people were finally starting to care about me because there was something wrong with me. so of course i kept losing weight. My dad would bellow in my face every night to try to get me to eat, mom would cry, i would cry. Over summer of 2010 i had to move cross country from AZ to SC where my depression hit a new low and i was virtually starving myself to death. My parents constantly tried to put me in an ED hospital but i would refuse. i suffered my first panic attack in november of 2010 i thought i was dying. Miraculorly this is where the story turns around i started seeing a pyschatrist regularly who helped me and within a few months i was getting back on track to a healthy life. thank god. Don't ask me how it happened it was a miracle. but if only i could get back my lost time...:(