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Is there a right way for how this goes? You've got your friends And you've got your foes They want a piece of something hot Forget your name like they forgot Roger Rabbit, by Sleeping With Sirens

Emo Forums » Other (Reply)

EmoChelza
Posts: 99
Beautiful Kill Jun 12 2012, 06:57 PM
This is a short story i did for a comp... I have to stop myself! The urge is exceedingly strong. So strong that my conscious thoughts are just a pallid blur that’s all cluttered up in the inside of my brain. I can’t think properly and all that was going through my mind was ‘Get him!’ I looked down at him. He was huddled up in the far corner of his living room. His crystal blue eyes shown pure fear that lurked inside him. His face was pastel white and I saw that his hands were shaking. I couldn’t take his life. But I had to! I slowly walked his way. There was that little voice in the back of my head telling me to stop, but my cravings were too strong that I could hardly hear the voice. My mouth was dry. My blood red eyes were fixed on the male. My dead heart seemed to spill out life as I got closer to him. As I smelt his metallic scent. “Please don’t!” He yelled. I winced at his terrified screech. He was a living being. His heart pumped blood around his body. His skin was warm. He had genuine feelings for others. He breathed the air that surrounded us. But that was why he was pulling me towards him. He was alive. I closed my eyes and gave a deep-rooted breath and let in his iron scent through my airways. Oh it smelt like heaven. Nothing had ever smelt so rich and sweet in my life. I needed it now! I heard the slight sound of ruffled material and opened my eyes hastily. I gave an incensed frown as I saw the male crawling away into the kitchen. I ran over to him swiftly and pulled him up by his neck. I felt his artery pumping blood under my fingers and my eyes widened. He tried to yell but I tightened my grip on his neck and he held onto my hand trying to pry it open. His face started to show a purple tinge and the veins on his forehead became prominent. I saw and felt the life in him slowly waste away as I stopped the air flowing down into his lungs. His skin was warm and I felt movement under every pore in his neck. He was alive. Much alive but he was slowly drifting off. Blood of the living is much better than the leftovers from the deceased. Much more richer. Much sweeter. Much more of a drug. Yes, it was a drug and I was addicted! When I start, I cannot stop. I let go of his neck and let him drop to the tiled floor like a dead corpse. I put his arms above his head and my knees into his thighs with force. He squirmed in my grasp and I heard his joints crack. I’m sorry young innocent man. I open my mouth and pierced my fangs into his neck. The blood trickled down my lips. I’m so sorry.

Replies

Emo Pictures - MidoKilmy
MidoKilmy
Posts: 237
Jun 14 2012, 11:35 AM
Umm.. I think vampirism became too popular and it's a mainstream fashion. There's nothing original in this. So nothing special. I could write it a few years ago for a blog or sth but for competition u need sth more. Sth surprising or with special atmosphere. It's hard to find sth new in terms of subkect but u can always provide some new look at this and make the story different than any other. Sorry that I'm so critic but that's what I think. But I believe in u. Good luck my young artist ^ ^ and I like ur style of writing. :3
EmoChelza
Posts: 99
Jun 14 2012, 04:30 PM
aww thanks... since it had to be 500 words or less i had trouble thinking on what to do O.o had to do something simple n kinda one scene for it to fit >.>
Emo Pictures - MidoKilmy
MidoKilmy
Posts: 237
Jun 15 2012, 11:54 AM
Well.. It's ok. Just could be more original. Maybe sucking his soul instead of blood? XD
EmoChelza
Posts: 99
Jun 15 2012, 09:11 PM
yeah could be...

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