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Give Me The Strength, To Face What's In front of You. In front of Me. I am Your Length to Face What's in Front of You. In Front of Me. Forsake Not The Dream, by Trivium

Emo Forums » Help And Advice (Reply)

adriennexanarchy
Posts: 11
need advice... don't judge me.... Dec 09 2012, 08:02 PM
<b>Okay, so, I really need some advice about something, cause, idk wtf to do... There's this guy, I've known him 5 1/2 years now and We've been on and off for a while... In 07 we were engaged... The night before we were gonna get married, he cheated on me... with a 14 yr old boy..(he was 18)... Well, I was dumb enough to STILL get married to him even after that... He ended up going to prison cause the asshole wanted him to leave me for him, and he didn't want to so he turned him in... Well, he was in for about a month when i bailed him out... He promised me in all his letters that he'd never talk to him again, well a week after he was out, he did, of course, then got mad at me for being pissed off about it, Then one night, he was drunk, and trippin, and got kinda abusive.... threatened to kill me... he was above me on the bed, with a sword, ready to do it, (I couldn't fucking move..) Then, he fell over, and passed out... Any sane person would've gtfo of there then, and called the cops, but, I didn't... I was in shock... Well I confronted him about it when he woke up and he supposedly didn't remember any of it but started calling all his friends and telling them about it.... few months later, he kept going back and forth to spend time with that asshole... I wasn't allowed to be depressed/pissed... even if I was getting harassed everyday... i was supposed to just accept it... Everyone told me to leave and i deserve better... but, I loved him, reguardless of everything.. and thought that i just wasn't ever gonna find love if i left him... IN july 08 I got pregnant... and moved to a new place, he took off and left me there all alone, in a freezing cold apartment, to be with that pos... and i believe some girls, too... He came back, and a few weeks later, went to his sentencing... He ended up getting 2-5 years... Well, I moved in with my mom, while i was preg, I ened up having to give my son up for adoption... cause of everything... I know I sound insane, But, apart of me still loves him... He'll be out in 8 months, and wrote to me and swears that he's changed, and doesn't wanna lose me again, wants to marry me again, wont ever talk to that asshole ever again,, or do any of the shit he did in 07-08... I wanna believe him, but, Idk if I should... My mom's never been wrong before about things, and she's said she has a terrible feeling if I do get back with him.. so, I'm really just looking for advice, Should I move on, and find someone who wont do that shit or give him a chance? and no, I'm not looking for pity or anything..

Replies

AtTheEnd
Posts: 1
Dec 09 2012, 08:20 PM
This looks straightforward. He's not going to change. Of course he says he's gonna change while he's in prison once he's free again he's not gonna keep his word AGAIN. Be smart and don't get back with him. Find someone who will treat you right, who won't cheat on you, and who will care about you.
Amor-ac-Luctus
Posts: 41
Dec 09 2012, 08:29 PM
That's some intense stuff you've got going on. Honestly I don't even know where to start and I promise I won't judge you in any way because you're in love, or at least you believe you are, and love has got to be one of the most powerful and illogical emotions there is. Anyways I guess I'll start with saying that I don't even know this guy and I already really don't like him. However, I do believe in giving people second chances, and I guess in your case third chances. This guy though, you really need to ask yourself what you see in him, why do you love him, and if your willing to risk letting him back into your life again. If you do decide to start seeing him again, I'd recommend going back to the basics and starting over. Go out on dates, get to know each other all over again before committing to ANYTHING at all, you might realize he's not everything you thought he was, or you might find out that he truly has changed, but it seems to me like he's got some major commitment issues. Truly though, it's up to you. If you feel like he is truly a new person than I say give him another chance, but if it seems like there's a HINT of that violent, unfaithful, uncaring streak left in him kick his sorry ass out of your life and don't look back. You need to look after yourself first. While he's locked up though, I'd see other people to see if maybe there is someone else out there that's better for you. This is all my opinion though, I've never been in a situation like that before so this is just what my gut is telling me.
Emo Pictures - JuliaJaculiferous
JuliaJaculiferous
Posts: 2
Dec 09 2012, 10:18 PM
I hate to say it, but people never really change. The closest they can do to change is hide it. That just bottles whatever emotions they have inside. Then they release it. It's better for your own safety that you don't go back to him. It could end up a lot worse than before, and there's a bigger chance of it getting worse than it getting better.
FlamingBlackSkull
Posts: 464
Dec 10 2012, 05:00 AM
I agree with Amor-ac-Luctus. I believe that you should look to other options, but if you MUST give him one last chance (which, honestly, I don't reccomend), don't commit to anything until you've dated again. And I don't mean one, three, or five dates. I mean REALLY observe him and have contact for at least a year. That way, if he puts up an act, it'll waiver eventually because he'll get tired of it.
adriennexanarchy
Posts: 11
Dec 10 2012, 07:30 AM
okay, that all sounds good. thanks
Emo Pictures - lostcause
lostcause
Posts: 76
Dec 30 2012, 09:25 AM
:( sorry to hear, i cant even imagine how hard this all must have been so heres a hug all the way from England. Its quite clear you deserve better then this, and i think if you have any hope of a fresh start away from all of this i think you should take it and stay clear of this person when hes released. History repeats itself.

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