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I really like you, Are you going to help me again? Is there really something to gain? Without you, I would be lost somewhere, but where? You saved my life now I love you, I love you I Love You, by Candyde

Emo Forums » Emo Poetry (Reply)

x_beyondparanormal_x
Posts: 131
Forever~ (HELP i need feedback) Aug 05 2013, 10:57 PM
This is a poem i wrote >< i really want to get serious about my poetry and get into writing, it's kind of long but i would be so grateful if you'd let me know what you think about my writing, that would help me out a lot .3. thankies ~<3 "Forver" by Jessi I recall once on the porch steps when I moved to kiss his lips, how we paid so much attention to each short and jagged breath, I should’ve stopped to take our picture, documented honest pure attraction, just to show the difference between affection and reaction. I can hear all of my friends and we steal from the stores, one night i'll never forget, with pockets full of cigarettes, we’d cast our glares from the sidewalks at these people, it seemed endless. Maybe I'll never get the difference between real meaning and sudden recklessness. And I remember in a basement sharing secrets with these girls, “We’ll show the World!” We'd shout. But, everything remains the same and they say we don't pay attention, but I still see much more meaning in all of us than some careless politician. And if we get sick from all the smoke, if we get beaten by death, just remember our love of music and listen for short and jagged breaths, and have them line us up on concrete, and shatter glass in our faces, until we can't tell the difference between the people and the places. But remember not the bad times, remember not our faulty parts , it isn't the little imperfections that label us but the way we shield our hearts, and the way we hold our heads, I hope you'll bring roses to my tombstone when I’m dead. And when i'm dead let our music play on and find a better voice.

Replies

Philo-ph0bi-a
Posts: 21
Feb 27 2014, 04:12 PM
love it <3
Emo Pictures - Shyemogirlx
Shyemogirlx
Posts: 6
Mar 05 2014, 05:53 PM
This gave me chills.. So amazing, you have a real talent! Do you think you could have a look at mine? It's nowhere near as good as yours but I'd like your opinion/feedback. It's in this forum and entitled 'look to yourself (opinions please)" but yeh amazing x

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