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The night will come and rip away, her wings of innocence through every word we say maybe it\'s time, And the hero will drown, by Story Of The Year

Emo Forums » Help And Advice (Reply)

Emo Pictures - DamagedGoods
DamagedGoods
Posts: 7
The Truth About Bullying [ General Advice ] Dec 29 2013, 09:50 PM
So you are being bullied. There must be something wrong with you right? Ever wonder why the bullies do what they do? The truth is, there is very little difference between us and them. There are three basic kinds of people in the world. The extravert, the balanced, and the introvert. I will explain them all here. First, let's cover the balance person. These people take in as much negative emotions as they give out. They also take in as much positive emotions as they give out. Some of these emotions are generated by themselves, and some of it is generated by others. But because they are balanced, they remain relatively calm and unaffected. Second, the extraverts put out more positive and negative emotions than they take in. This leaves their egos deflated. They are the jocks, cheerleaders and others. They have self-doubt and self-hatred just like anybody. But instead of letting go of it, they push it outwards onto the balanced people, and the introverts. That stuck up girl in your class that constantly puts you down, probably doesn't even agree with what she's saying. The reason she's saying it is because makeup and surgeries have done all they can, and their own self-image can only be elevated further by bringing everybody else down. Think about that. They probably dislike themselves more than YOU dislike them. Lastly, the introverts, take IN more than we put out. We let it build and it leaves us feeling over inflated, like we're going to pop. This can lead to other things, which I'll cover later. Like the extraverts, we too have self-image issues. We just internalize it rather than externalizing it. And that is the ONLY difference. We emos tend to use the phrase "don't judge me" all the time. Perhaps too often. It has lost it's meaning and impact. The truth is, we all judge each other all the time. These judgements can be negative OR positive. "She's Pretty" is still a judgement. A more correct phrase would be "don't condemn me". But nobody wants to be condemned. All three groups of people need friendship, reinforcement and caring. I remember when I was in school. My personal bully picked on my because I was bi. At first, I let it get to me, until I realized what I've been writing about. Then one day at lunch, he walked by and said "screw you homo", I smiled and replied, "ok, where and when?". Then I chuckled and asked if he'd like to sit. He didn't. Not at first. Eventually though, he did and we became friends somewhat. He'd still poke fun while in groups, and you know what? I let him. Big deal. It no longer bothered me because I knew the reason behind it: he had problems emoting and was jealous. The thing is...you never know somebody's story until you ask them.

Replies

Emo Pictures - Kate
Kate
Posts: 4199
Dec 30 2013, 03:47 AM
good ending moral =) but being someone who has been bullied throughout most of my school careerer and childhood in various forms to the point i tried to take my own life, i would beg to differ with a few points. firstly bullies have insecurities of there own and vent it on others but the manner of which can destroy someone NO matter how mentally/ physically strong they are and this can Not always be prevented with a snipe back comment,often that makes the matter a deal worse for the victim and the bully ... the best and most sensible practical way of dealing with any form of bullying is 1. if you can tell someone you trust , doesn't have to be adult , a close friend etc Talking about it to someone can help alot as it may enable it to be solved quicker as well as release some emotional stress off your part 2. stay strong remember they feed off reactions , the more you react to them the more they continue bullying ,so ignore the bullying when around them as when they stop getting a reaction most bullies get bored after a while and sod off (if cyber keep evidence ie txts , pms etc so you have evidence if needed at a later date ) 3.don't suffer in silence . it is the worst thing you can do. you may feel alone but you are certainly not. alternatively you could catch the bully on their own and ask straight out what their problem is with you and ask them to explain why but being realistic nowadays most (not all mind you as some, like the post above state can come round to their actions ) bullies won't take too nicely to that approach and things often end up worse also to re alliterate to all users on this site bulling is against the site's terms of use and is Not tolerated in any form so if it occurs here please report it/ contact admin or a moderator asap so it can be dealt with hopes this helps some people out there =)
Emo Pictures - DamagedGoods
DamagedGoods
Posts: 7
Dec 30 2013, 07:54 AM
Hi! Thanks for the additions. I'm not sure I see where we disagree though. Of course it can be devastating. But the reason it is, is because the victim doesn't understand where it came from in the first place. That was my goal with that post. To explain the underlying dynamics. It should never be considered 'allowable' by any means. And of course they should talk to those they trust, especially if they do not have the strength to deal with it.
Emo Pictures - Kate
Kate
Posts: 4199
Dec 30 2013, 10:10 AM
my underlying point being, when you are in both in the position (bully and victim ) you don't give (pardon my french) a s*** in hell as to what the other is thinking besides to get out of the awful situation. Bullying happens to us all, even the strongest and often occurs where and when we least expect it. Sadly it is something that will be around throughout life and will never really totally disappear in modern day society so learning to cope and deal with it is key to success
Emo Pictures - DamagedGoods
DamagedGoods
Posts: 7
Dec 31 2013, 10:06 AM
I agree 100% with what you're saying. I'm still not sure what it is you're disagreeing with (assuming you are). You realize that my post was just background information on the dynamics of emotional exchange, and not 'how to cope' right? =) ALL your points are valid and welcomed. You mentioned 'not giving a .... what somebody thinks' when it happens though, and I know from a long standing personal experience that (at least sometimes) understanding why people bully in the first place gives one an insight that can help make it easier to act on your coping advice, without panicking. So as far as I can see, our thoughts have complimented each, not contradicted. Or have I missed something?

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