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I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone, I long for that feeling to not feel at all, the higher I get the lower I'll sink, I can't drown my demons they know how to swim. Can you feel my heart, by BMTH

Emo Forums » Help And Advice (Reply)

Ruby_Winnter
Posts: 31
lonly Sep 15 2014, 10:55 PM
its not theyer falt , i have this way of infecting everything i touch ... ive lost 4 bestfriends in 2 years , the onlything im better at then makeing shallow friends who don't even realy know me is my ability to hurt the people i really care for and drag them into this pain with me.....i lose people because i show them who i am .. not just the happy little bitt the little fun things i make with my mask i show them the dark parts and they run they always leave me .. every time i think im close enough that some one could love me for me and not my mask i hurt them and they hate me, i haven't had anything close to a true friend in 7 months and im so lonly. the one thing i hate is fake people im such a hipacrite im the fackest persone i know ...just to sit next to some one i have to lie ......when i sit next to some one its a reflex its like my brain is wired to find the fastest kill. but i sit down and put on my smile and pertend i don't keep scaning for a wepen i smile and make small talk ... gage inteligence am i smarter could i kill him fast enough ..could i aford to drag it out and listen to the screeming ... its always in my head and when i let some one know they hate me im a monster ...alone because i have to be

Replies

Sep 25 2014, 01:08 PM
Hey. I know that feeling. You're not a monster.If you wat to talk i'm always here.
Emo Pictures - Xeno
Xeno
Posts: 112
Sep 27 2014, 07:01 PM
Hey, I'm sure your secret can't be all bad that even your bestfriend would walk out on you. Unless it's something like you wanna kill them, I don't see how a secret and revealing your true self would make them walk out on you. Just remember than when you tell people about yourself, the focus should always be on you and not the person you are talking to.

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