Schizoaffective disorder, actually Im medicated though, supposed to start Ziprasidone once Im out of Seroquel

Yes :'(

MUSIC and ANIME helps alot

Ive had depression my whole life my first suiside fail was when i was 6 i was taking antidepressents recently but decided to stop due to a bit of weight gain oh im also anorexic so if i gain the tinyist amount of weight i start freaking out ive been to an institution about a year ago because i wanted the ib profin to knock me out for good sounded like a good idea as i was lying in the bath tub chewing a mouthfull of pills then my roomate found me now i live with my dad after betraying my best friend althou he never payed for any of the rent and all we really did was drink together i still feel guilty for leaving him to the streets oh im felling the urge to kill myself right now i have a essay due tomorow yet i havent started much my relationships are practically meaningless to me, hell i never have been realy loved ehh my eyes hurt all the time and ima go cut myself because theres so much fu**ing stress i have to hide my depression around people or else ill be sent to another facility oh i must be happy always happy financial aide wont help with money so happy daddy loves your other siblings more so they get handouts while you have to be in debt because you want to have a degree so happy i have never had a girlfriend probably because you have abondenment issues, and you already have extreamly low amounts of confidence soo happy god damit i want a drink but im not allowed to because it always gets out of controll eh ima probably bitch and moan to myself cut myself then do my homework in which i should have already done laters

So I started Ziprasidone about a few weeks ago It starteed out alright, but then I realized that it was a horrible mistake Along with increasing hallucinations, now I feel like im disconnected from my body and even worse, now my vision is all wonky Next time I see my psychiatrist Im going to ask her for something else