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Ghost_of_Silence
Posts: 318

addicted to isolation Dec 13 2020, 06:21 PM

not sure if this is an issue especially nowadays but lately I've become more and more addicted to complete isolation, something feels so liberating about not being around anyone or taking part in their bullshit they seem to endlessly spew... either that or I've just become more guarded around them for various reasons. however this is starting to erode my relationships with family and friends. to some, my silence can be suffocating... or so I am told. and I do try from time to time to break out of this habit of remaining in solitude, but I'm noticing its getting a lot more difficult to do so each time. thing is as guilty as I feel for falling off the face of the planet, I also feel the happiest I've been in a while, not having to be dragged every which way by people who wont leave me alone. is this actually becoming an addiction to solitude or is this just some kind of social burnout?

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Total Forum Posts: 6

Alexx_boyish
Posts: 11

Dec 28 2020, 01:59 AM

I am pretty much in the same phase the last year.. I feel very lonely but sometimes that loneliness feels liberating if you know what I mean.. I have decided to cut contacts with people I used to hang around and honestly currently I am talking to max 1-2 friends I have. Thats probably a result of exploring yourself , of growing ( not growing up in age but as person , as becoming who you are,) thats healthy , amazing but the drawback is the loneliness till you find the right people to surround yourself. I feel that i dont need just people I know and go for a drink once in a while but deeper friendships, Is it social burnout? probably yes , you should keep a balance, open to people but at the same time be able to reject who you dont match with and not be an average of them to just get accepted,, but yes loneliness is a path that everyone should follow to complete his life in long term..Q))

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Ghost_of_Silence
Posts: 318

Dec 28 2020, 12:40 PM

I suppose that makes sense, although I'm not sure its loneliness. I remember 3+ years ago I felt like I was trapped against my will within solitude even though I realistically had several ways out of it and just needed to mature. I remember the feeling of profound longing for friendship or companionship or even just to find a place where I belong... and I most distinctly remember the feeling of a void in my chest, that painful, hollow feeling that accompanied being completely alone... I feel none of that now. no desire to go out of my way to be with other people, no pain, no emptiness. but I do feel guilt and obligation for lack of a better word, toward being around old friends and family who have repeatedly expressed how distraught they are that I've just vanished, often for months at a time without explanation. they wonder if they've done anything wrong and I tell them they haven't. I just... have an unexplainable need to be alone. I cant even think of a reason to be angry at them anymore to justify my desire for complete solitude. I dont know.. hopefully I'll figure out a solid balance between the two.

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Alexx_boyish
Posts: 11

Dec 28 2020, 02:49 PM

That pain you mention in the chest and at the same time the desire to belong somewhere , to be part of a company have been present and persistent nearly my whole social life withouth getting a relief , times where I felt I belonged completely in a group of people have been few and now I mostly feel that the sense of belonging through arts ,n music , , When you say you dont have the desire to be with other people, probably most of the people you already know do not motivate you to be with them but in case you were supposed to meet a person you admire ( maybe an artist) wouldnt you be excited about that?

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Ghost_of_Silence
Posts: 318

Dec 29 2020, 10:00 AM

you might be on to something there. definitely not motivated to see the people I know as much anymore, although it would be nice to go to a new place, meet new people; start over, you know? it sucks because I can't just leave everyone behind, but at the same time if I don't I can't move forward. looking back on it there were a few places I've been to where I felt whole, where I felt like I don't have to hide myself with a painfully mundane facade. both these places I was surrounded by weirdo's, misfits, eccentrics, people who weren't afraid to be themselves, who didn't give a damn what others thought of them. in a way its one of those things I admire most and wish would come to me more easily. maybe that's what I really want, to get out of here, live in a place where I don't have to walk on eggshells all the time.

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Bones
Posts: 1726

Jan 06 2021, 10:40 PM

Well at least people care about you and try to communicate with you. Also the world is shitty so enjoy your time alone I do.

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twilightkitty-789
Posts: 3

Mar 16 2021, 02:18 AM

ya my parent got sad because i purposely hide out in my room.i dont go out there or talk to her because shes nuts so its pretty much do to her, i try to make time for my sensitive young brother but it doesn't always happen.

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Total Forum Posts: 6

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