Jan 26 2018, 02:13 AM

"Free at last, Free at last, Thank God almighty we are free at last."- Martin Luther King Jr. Freedom is not given. No. It is earned. Just like trust, You must earn these things to be truly happy. But I am not happy. I do not have trust- in people nor myself. And I am not free. I am a prisoner. A prisoner to myself. I am trapped in my mind, Chained to the walls as they close in on me. I am forced to watch everyone else be happy, While I myself am suffering. Oh how I wish to taste the sweetness of freedom. How it would start at the tip of my tongue, flourish through my lungs, To the tips of my middle fingers, and finally to the tips of my toes. Oh how I would no longer be held captive to my dark thought. How I would no longer be cursed with the blade, And oh how I would spend my first day, a free man: I would spend it in a room. It would be a small room, Complete with the delicacies that I was deprived of: Music and art. I would turn my body into art, I would replace the scars with ink and paint. Creating stories of my hardships, Murals of my sorrow. To show the world what I have been through. But until then, I sit in my cell. Pondering why I do not end it all, Or why I was captured in the first place. Until the day comes, When I have my Big Shift, I will sit. I will sit, And I will be patient. Until my freedom comes at last. xoa.

Jan 26 2018, 02:01 AM

"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them."- Walt Disney. Dreams are funny things. They can be happy and pleasant, Or a storm of darkness. You see, my dreams are simple; A simple little room, A simple little space. A simple little task, A simple little pace. I like slow. It gives me time to adjust. But when my dreams become storms, All twisting and spinning around my mind, Disrupting my sleep, It causes pain. Excruciating pain. A pain that leaves me awake for what seems like years, Causing me to toss and turn. It's kind of funny to think that my Insomnia was caused by dreams. But then again, it were the dreams that murdered me in my sleep. Stabbing me in the back, just when I thought they loved me. Even when I called: "But I love you, don't you love me too?" I would never get an answer, Because they were simply figments of my imagination. But oh how they felt so real. How I felt the razor sharp tip of your blade, Digging into my soul, my heart, my lungs. Hot fire burning my insides to a crisp. So, you see, Mr. Disney. We cannot all pursue our dreams. Because in the end, We may all end up dead. xoa.

Jan 26 2018, 01:50 AM

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself"- FDR Fear. So many emotions. Fear. Spiraling in my mind. Fear. It eats away at my soul, leaving me cold And blind. Why do we fear, when we could just die? Why do we cry when something goes bump in the night, Or when someone passes away. Why do we take a moment of silence When someone dear leaves us? Why do we care so much about our image, When everyone could be equal? Because we fear. We fear that we will pass too. We fear that we will never live up to the status quo. We fear the worst and we never stop to think: "Is this all worth it?" Because after all, the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. xoa.