Jun 02 2014, 09:29 AM

It's a permanate solution to a temporary problem, but honestly it feels like it's so much more. The only way for me to be happy. The only way for me to be free. I'm sick of pretending to be happy.

Apr 18 2014, 10:23 AM

You don't know what it's like to tell someone everything about you and have them just leave you there on your own just saying 'your mental maybe you should just die'. Not knowing how many times I've tried how many times I've sat there and cut just to get the temporary feeling of maybe one day I'll be happy not have to worry about anything at all. But for now I'm stuck feeling like this like shit that there's nothing I can do because everything is gone now and if don't have anything. You don't know what it's like to feel like you don't belong like you have friends but you keep everything else to yourself because you're so terrified to let people in because you know that they would judge you or laugh at you. You don't know how many time I've written out suicidail notes to just throw them away because you don't want to bring everyone around to the misery you've been dealing with for the longest time. To keep secrets from everyone because they don't know the real you. I'm done I stopped caring I've lost so many things I've cared about I don't have anything anymore to keep me here I'm just a waste of space in this big world one day I hope you notice how I feel and be able to understand what I'm feeling or what's wrong with me but for now I'm sick of everything I can't talk to anyone and ready to just shut everything out. There's reasons why I'm not letting anyone in anymore.