Jan 02 2015, 09:46 AM

Your oblivion baffles me, you don't notice how much your words actually hurt me. You take a stab at my heart and hit it just right. You lead me on to believe something not true. So please, by all means, keep killing me.

Jan 01 2015, 10:31 PM

I have a problem that consumes me more by the day. I cry myself to sleep because of it and it causes me to think those same thoughts all the time. I cant tell anyone about it because I don't trust anyone to not judge me. They wouldn't understand anyways. Some problems affect people more than others. And mine is something a lot of people struggle with. I'm so afraid that even my closest friends will think I'm needy or clingy or even just dumb. So I built up walls and threw my pain into the depths of my being, letting it come out every time it becomes too much. My burden becomes more unbearable with each tear. I don't have anyone I can turn to anymore.

Jan 01 2015, 09:12 PM

I'm honestly done with my generation. All thats on their minds are either sex, drugs, or both. Most of the time its both. I mean I'm not perfect either!! Hell I'm pretty damn far from it!! But no one shares my thoughts on life. If you're not getting your life straight right now and setting up morals then its gonna be that much harder in the future. But no one's perfect so I hope life treats ya'll better than I think it will....

Jan 01 2015, 05:03 PM

Alright whats with all the "dark lord" pedophiles in the UK ganging up on me. This is really annoying now .-.

Jan 01 2015, 04:35 PM

Well after the events on friday I decided something really important. I'm not going to let what happened get to me, its just another event thats going to shape me to who I'll mature into. I'll be strong. I've forgiven "it" and my mother though thats not something I'm going to forget. I don't have to see either of them until the last two weekends of this month. So I just have some time to think about what I'll do next. So onto my next subject!! Ever since I was little I've suffered from chronic migraines and headaches. I would lose most if not all color to me skin and I wouldn't want to do anything. I wouldn't even eat. Lately they have gotten worse and have lasted longer. Just last year in December I had two that lasted three days each. I brushed it off that I was only dehydrated but I'm starting to second guess that thought now. I keep bringing it up to my dad so he can take me to a doctor and have it checked out. What if I have a stroke or heart attack in the future? Or what if I have cancer??? I'm just hoping for the best. Now for the last thing I want to just nag about is my GOD AWFUL love life .-. And I mean its really bad!! Lets see within the past few months I've gone through maybe 3-4 relationships. Ughhh. Anyone my age are hormonal, immature assholes. All they do is treat me like a sex toy an just something they can mess with. I HAVE FUCKING FEELINGS!!! But my patience and understanding for people is wearing real thin. Is that all females are good for anymore, sex? If ya'll look a little deeper into a girl's personality or a guy's (girls are just as much of bitches) you can open a world of possibilities!! I mean why was love so easy a couple decades ago and now its almost extinct? Its dying by the day. I've found some decent guys, a couple on here, but they've been hurt by past relationships that they want nothing to do with a relationship ever again. What has our sad little world come to.....

Dec 26 2014, 10:25 PM

Well, after my stepdad man handled me back into the house almost ripping my shirt off, I ran to my room, slammed the door and locked it. I bought enough time to delete all my convos then they made me sit in the corner (apparently I'm five now) and then I sat in my room and cried until my dad came and got me. I wanted to kill myself right there. Just to get back at it. (It being my stepdad) I could too, I nine inch blades in my bag and a hand full of pills with me. But I would be hurting the rest of my family that I actually love, along with my friends too. So I'm still here... Still crying.... And slowly dying....

Dec 26 2014, 10:37 AM

I'm so..... Just..... Bleh! Why do older men hit on me and think I'm into bondage and all that crap!!! This is twice now!! And they keep calling me vanilla?? You want excitement, piss me off more and see which body part you lose. FUCKING PEDOPHILES!!!!

Dec 23 2014, 01:42 PM

I hate being in a relationship... I act too cute and its annoying. I hate it when I have a friend that I'm so comfortable around and I like them a lot because when I act cute I feel like I'm really annoying. I want to be like the chick from American Mary. Just emotionally detached and sarcastic. Thats just how I am most of the time when I'm with friends like that. Maybe some extreme body modification while I'm at it.

Dec 03 2014, 03:41 PM

My friend says he needs someone to talk to.... He ignores me... Logic just got stupid .-.

Nov 16 2014, 01:55 PM

When I hear about hear about serial killers or massacres I think to myself "How can they do that to innocent people?" But then I reflect on myself and I know it'd be easy to kill someone. That adrenaline rush of the moment, the feeling when you do and everything stops and you innocence loses you to your hate, your anger, your madness and so many other mixed emotions. The only thing stopping me from killing one or many people is the fact that they have people in their lives that love them. If I kill them I kill the people they love along with them. Im getting better at controlling my emotions, but a couple weeks ago I almost pulled a knife on my mom. No one knows how I feel. They cant see past my delicately told lies and the happy little girl in front of them. What they don't see is the girl who is trapped within her own mind battling against her emotions to make sure she wont and cant hurt anyone. Im scared and so much more fragile than my friends think I am. Idk how much longer I can keep up my masquerade, till I have to see a therapist or psychiatrist. There, everything would come out it would all be known. After that the advice given to my family would be to lock up all the knives and anything I can kill them with. Its that or I go to a mental hospital. I want someone who thinks like me and knows how to cope with something like this. Someone who can calm me down and make everything just go away. That way I wouldn't have to worry about other people around me. I've thought like a mad person for almost nine years now. I know Im not like other people, Im starting to lose my hold on whats real and whats not. I actually have to question weather something actually happened or I dreamed it up. Isn't that great? When I look at people I wonder why I don't feel normal like they do. Or if everyone feels like me. Like they have to fight their way out into the world and hold back who they really are and what they really think. No one understands me.... Everyone thinks Im crazy. My dad jokes around that Im gonna be a serial killer someday, what he doesn't know is that might not be false. If I lose my will to fight myself God help anyone that pisses me off.