Feb 21 2021, 11:01 AM

A lot has happened since last year. I had to discover that I am worthy of the world and that I deserve to get what I want. That being said, I have reconnected with my love for writing and drawing and everyday, I try to find even the slightest bit of confidence within myself and I will not let anyone take me down. Call me a tyrant or stuck up if you must, but I'd rather treat myself like a goddess and if anyone has problem with the rules of my temple, that's their problem, not mine. And I don't know how, but I see myself in a place where I can enjoy my solitude with no one holding me back from my desires. That being said, being as confident as I am, my mother calls me a "narcissist" when really, she was the one along with my father who didn't tell me that I had some form of autism that needed to be checked but they never sought out any help for me because of their stubbornness and pride, not wanting to "label" me of all things. The difference between my father and mother is that my father accepts that fact about me but my mother doesn't. She still refuses to believe that I can't exactly learn things as quick as I used to anymore, I like things straightforward and to the point. What's even worse is that I will soon need to seek out help for my mentality as I've become a victim of emotional abuse from my own mother that I trusted to love me and accept me for who I am. Ironically, she's the one that needs help the most because she doesn't like our generation's "rules". I literally have to tell her "That's what you think." every time she has an opinion on how I dress or do my makeup. What gets me the most is that now she's calling the music I listen to "satanic"! I know, huge facepalm moment right there!!! I don't know when or how but I will need to find a place of my own to call home so I can get away from her religious extremist mindset.

Jan 07 2020, 01:44 PM

A lot of things have happened to me last year. Some were good and some were bad. I don’t know how to say this but I’m glad I have changed. Last month, I broke up with a boyfriend of 3 months because I caught him being sneaky behind my back. Turns out, during our so-called break from our relationship, he found someone else a week in. Before I found out however, he tried to break up with me through text but this time, I wasn’t going to let another boyfriend get away with a break up text. So I went to physically confront him myself for closure. I missed the bus so I had to walk almost all the way to his place. Once I got there, when he stood in front of me, the motherfucker wouldn’t look me in the eye! I called him out for his bullshit; lying, cheating on me whilst still being on a break with me, disrespectful because he wouldn’t look at me in the eyes when we were talking that day, for how many sickening times he said “I don’t know” whenever I asked him a question, for how much he has disappointed me and for how cowardly he was to even do such a thing! Lying about not being over an ex of two years and yet still went on to date me like I was his relief and lying about not being in a good mental state to be in a relationship. I even asked him “Why be in a relationship with me if you weren’t even over your ex in the first place?!” All he said was “I really did want to be with you.” Then I go “Then how come you did this break in the first place? Just so you have a fucking excuse to cheat on me? You think I wouldn’t fucking find out? No, because you’re a fucking dumbass!!!” So I took back everything that belonged to me and anything I ever bought for him as a gift, then I slapped him straight across the face. And as I walked off the driveway, I yelled “Fuck you!” then when I was on the road (thankfully it was a quiet road), I bellowed out “COWARD” as if it was a war cry! Had it not been for what I did, I would’ve been more broken than I am now but I could not let myself stay home and wallow in grief again because of a break up through fucking text. Just now today, I found out he got with the girl he was seeking to cheat on me with but I’m not gonna start drama again like I did with another ex that was two years ago so I’m just gonna let Karma settle this out. It’s literally what happens with me; every time a guy hurts me, they eventually have something bad happen to them and honestly, I wouldn’t feel bad for any of my exes. Yes that’s how cold I can be but that’s how most of the world works, no matter how much I hate it being that way. That’s the last time I give my all to someone unless they want to be with me in the long run and if they keep making the effort. I’m not saying I’m done with love, I’m just done with the bullshit of it. Maybe if I do run into someone, I’m not letting them go near my punani unless they really want it. I’ll say “If you really want this, you gotta prove that you’re going to be my hubby, otherwise, thank you, next!”

Dec 10 2018, 08:12 AM

Okay so i'm back again. I haven't updated for a while but i'll do my best to keep it simple. So a few months after my huge breakup, i tried to search for a potential soul who could almost perfectly match mine, but i kinda gave up and stayed single for a little while longer. A few days ago, i was seeing this guy (local) and he seemed nice and we hit it to off to the point where we banged. Yesterday, unfortunately we had to stop seeing each other because next year coming soon, he has to go to uni and live with his sister. Since he'd be in uni for five days a week, he'd also have to go to work on the weekends so he wouldn't be able to see me and he didn't want to cause me agony and pain so we ended on good terms and i'm happy about it. From now on and hopefully this will continue towards next year but i'm hoping to find someone who not only looks good but also has a good soul worthy of being bonded with mine. Hopefully they don't mind a little darkness as all of my past relationships have taken a toll on my mental health but i'll be getting help soon for that. Otherwise, imma stay single and be a good mother to my recently adopted kitten Midnight who i call my precious fur baby <3 merry Christmas to all and to all a good night :)

Jun 22 2018, 05:40 AM

Two days ago, i've dumped my ex-boyfriend who was a lying, cheating, piece of crap. Actually, more like; "Disgraceful, vile, evil, worthless piece of s**t and a pretentious f**k." - Famous Last Words - Voices lyrics. Sooooo...in the meantime, i want to enjoy being single for a while before i go looking again. I've wasted a year and a month of my life to a waste of flesh and blood and it'll take a while for me to heal this opened wound which was made years ago when i first dated him in high school which i now have to sew back up with a special string. However, i am happy that i've set myself free. Free from a forgetful, lying, cheating a**hole who "gave in to temptation" (which is no bloody excuse for cheating!!!).