Apr 18 2013, 10:17 AM

Well best day ever... not -.- My best friend had to leave from school early to go to the doctor for some reason I don't know. I've had 3 panic attacks this week and about to have ANOTHER one, in school. I've been quite and depressed and my hands are literally shaking. It's hard to breathe, and my heart is literally racing. It's hard to know you can't help your OWN boyfriend when he's hurt or having a panic attack... and Now im having a panic attack.. Fuck me xc

Feb 21 2013, 07:46 PM

Ok I was doing a journal entry in my notebook for English class today, and my GOD. I read it and it's so depressing x..x the journal entry was "Have you ever taken a walk through the woods? If so, what did you see, hear and felt" Here it ish: Well, I like taking walks in the woods all the time. I'm depressed a lot and the woods are very calming and relaxing. I look around myself and I see beautiful, white snow falling slowly on the bare branches of the trees. The ground looks like there is a fluffy, clean blanket covering it. The wind is calm and soothing against my bare, pink cheeks and nose. Usually I walk around slowly, thinking to myself about whether or not I can trust my friends or even myself. Every now and then, I feel heartbroken, lonely, and sad. Sometimes I see a Cardinal, burning bright red, like a flame, against the gray sky and white snow. I hear the wind rustling leaves in the distance. I hear the sticks crack and break under my feet. When I let out a breath, one that I've held for a couple of minutes, I see it appear in front of me. It looks like a puff of smoke coming out of my carmexed lips. Not often does this happen, but sometimes tears fall down my chilled cheeks, landing on my pale, smooth hand. My eyes, surrounded by black eyeliner and mascara, making my Blue/Golden/Red eyes brighten and show amazingly against my white skin. A long sleeve shirt and a jacket covers my arms, a black beanie perching gently on my Red/Brown hair. As I walk, I can hear the crunching of the snow against my Converse shoes. With every step I take, I hear the jingle of my wallet chain and feel it gently slapping my jean covered thigh. As I walk wonderlessly, I listen to my small blue IPod. Playing sad songs, rock songs, even some hyper pop music. I bob my head slightly to the music. You never see me without my Skullcandy headphones on my ears and my iPod in my jacket pocket. When you look in my eyes, everything changes. In my eyes, you see absolute emptiness. No emotion lingers there, no idea of what could be wrong, shows. I find a bench or a seat, and sit. My head hangs low, my face, facing my crossed legs and my bangs lay waving gently in the wind. As you step back a couple of feet, look at the setting around me, you should see a blank, white room. In the middle sits me, a girl without pure emotion.