Aug 12 2017, 06:10 AM

Random warning about me: I talk a lot, so if you ever pm with me or chat with me, you may or may not be overwhelmed. This is a very large factor in the reason why my friends don't like having a conversation with me. So yeah, there's that. Have a good day/night. ( Darn time zones )

Aug 10 2017, 03:16 PM

📚STORY TIME! 📚 Okay, so this year I decided to go out for my high school's cross country team. I've never ran much before, so this is very new and I'm still getting used to it. Anyways, yesterday ( Wednesday ) I went for a run on the trails, due to the fact that none of the team was there when I came up there. This was because they changed the times, and I didn't know this because my older brother crumpled up my calendar ( he's a prick ). So I'm halfway through the trail, and these two bulldogs off their leashes come at me. They got so close,I back up off the trail. I had two options, but I later realized that these two options were both very bad ideas. Here, I'll show you: The first option I came up with to back up further. But this was a terrible decision, considering the fact that I (A) probably would've tripped on some outcropping from walking backwards and broken my neck, or (B) fallen straight into the Rouge River. Which is full of raw sewage. Then my second option was to bust a** ( excuse my profanity ) and get the heck off that trail. But that also would've been a bad idea, because running would've only encouraged the dogs to run after me. And then they would've mauled me. So what's a sensible person who doesn't want to get mauled by dogs or fall into a river full of sewage to do? Luckily, the owners came running before I could think of another third option that would have most likely also lead to serious injury, death, or falling in a bunch of crap water. They repeatedly apologized, but I was honestly fine with it, because I've had dogs chase me before. So I guess you're assuming everything's okay now, right? The young heroine safely runs the rest of the trail? Well, DING DONG, YOU JUST ASSUMED WRONG. The owners held the dogs back and put them on their leashes. Sensing this as my opportunity to leave, I start on my run again. Not before one of the bulldogs ( who is probably a bit salty about the scolding they just got ) bites me one the wrist. I didn't even get to react, I just kinda ran the rest of the way. Thankfully, the dog didn't get a chance to latch on, or that would've been a very serious situation. Not to mention a extremely painful situation. It didn't even start to bleed until I finished the trail. That's when I really registered the dogs had bit me. I felt pretty bummed, because being bit by some salty bulldog was definitely not on my bucket list. And when I returned from my run, no one even believed I got bit. They thought they were fricking mosquito bites. So I guess the moral of the story is: Don't go running on trails alone. That's all for now! Tune in next time for Storytime with Yours Truly!

Jul 26 2017, 01:59 PM

UGGHHHHHHH *bangs head against table* So, I just received this little tablet here, right? It's an iPad 4. But I can't download ANYTHING without my parent's permission. Literally. They have to put in a password so the app can install. So if I want to download an app, I have to show it to my parents so they can decide if they want to download it for me. This is why I can't get Spotify ( Amazon Music is on here, but I don't want to put all of my music on there because my parents might see it, because Amazon Music is connected to like, every device we have. ) Or Skype ( they don't like me talking to people unless I can they see their face. It's why I deleted my Tumblr because they found out. ) Or any fanfiction apps ( for the obvious reason that fanfiction isn't good to read. ) I know I shouldn't be complaining but seriously like why,

Jul 20 2017, 04:15 PM

I'm So Darn Bored I would be drawing right now, but I have no motivation to draw whatsoever. Plus I stink at art so it's really depressing when I draw something nowadays. I'd be sitting here listening to music but my earbuds broke the other day so now I can't do that either. Life really can be brutal to ya sometimes. Since this journal entry was basically pointless, I think I'm going to put the only finished sketch I have in my photo gallery. Go ahead and check out my trash.

Jul 19 2017, 04:29 PM

Okay I know nobody cares but I really like using this journal thing. Even though I've never been an incredible writer, it's like I'm actually talking to someone and they're listening to my every word. They aren't judging me, just listening. I enjoy that feeling of release whenever I put my feelings down on paper. I've found that whenever I need to cope with something, writing it out makes me feel better.

Jul 19 2017, 04:00 PM

I was working on this poem type thing. I don't know what to make of it, but here's what I have so far- Everyday, Life brings around Thoughts deep enough to make me drown Fly away from all the sound I'm so far up, please help me down They won't stop pushing, so I push back But the pressure is too much, I start to crack They run for the thoughts that flow from me I'm all alone, please leave me be Can't you hear me screaming? It's just so loud, I want to make it all stop Maybe I'm just dreaming But it's all too real, I want to make it all stop ( lol I was listening to some TØP songs so this may have been where this came from. For some reason what I wrote feels really unoriginal. If you guys hated it as much as I did, go ahead and comment something )

Jul 19 2017, 12:25 PM

Theses last few weeks have been different. Thoughts will get so jumbled together it all just seems like my head is going to burst. It makes me want to stop...everything. But whenever I think about ending, my whole brain will just seem to laugh at me. " Quit trying to be suicidal. Quit trying to act like there's something wrong with you when there's not. " Somedays I wonder what it would be like to have depression or be sick and dying in a hospital. That's when I know I'm just trying to get people's attention. That I say the things I say to get someone to pity me, when I don't deserve an ounce of pity. I mean, there are people actually going through that, andI would want that for myself? I put down the most sad thing I can think of just to hear what people will say. I act like I'm broken, but in reality, I'm just a whole person who wants to be broken, just so everyone can come and fix me. I hope that someone could tell me that there really is something wrong with me, so I can stop trying to justify myself, because I know I'm wrong. This is why I made this entry private, because I know if I let everyone see the truth I would hope for someone to give me even more attention.