Days fade away but guilt still burns inside of me.
I feel as if I am responsible.
Why can't I realize just how the pieces seem to fit?
I feel as if I am responsible. A Most Profound Quiet, by Alesana
Feel so alone. Need something normal around me. Everything is falling apart and I dont know what to do. It just gets worse every day.
I found a phrase the other day "The sweet release of death" ... so contradictive that death grabs hold of you and takes you but at the same time your finally realleased from whatever personal hell your going through.
I kinda like it...
Starting to realize I only have the confidence to be myself on here. I get starred at wherever i go and get abuse from people. I know i shouldnt care what people think but i've had it so long and when its physical abuse its hard to ignore. Starting to hate what i see in the mirror =(
So apparently im a gay faggot, im worthless and no one will ever want me because im emo... They think i should (in their words) "slit my wrists for real and die"
why cant people just leave me alone =(
hmm I was talking to a friend today about what we go through sometimes and they said I should write it on here so people can see its not only them. So here goes...
Iv'e thrown at my head, I've been called an emo cunt, ive had friends ditch me, a past girlfriend threatened to leave me, I've been told I'll never be a good father, If i'm late for things or have been away people say they thought I hung myself, Everyone thinks i slit my wrists, People take the piss out of my hair, clothes, the music I listen to, I have to be careful where I go because I live on a council estate full of chavs, I get stared at everywhere I go, some of my family treat me different because they don't approve, I cant get a job because of the way I look....
All because
I'm Emo
And Yes there are time when I think fuck it... I don't want to live anymore. I already suffer with depression... and now I look in the mirror and I'm starting to resent the person looking back at me
I want to die my hair black, get another stretcher and where different clothes.... but my girlfriend doesnt want me to. She doesnt like it on me but I love emo fashion and I feel like thats who I am. Not sure what to do :/