Cinder
19 / Female / Minnesota, United States
Pansexual / In a Relationship
Member since:
Jan 31, 2016
Last online:
Jan 22, 2021
Current rating: 10.0/10 (1 votes cast)
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About Me
Ummm... I'm a human, how the f am I supposed to describe myself in basic categories to a stranger?! Well, to start with, I like animals, anime, manga, music, drawing, I'm in color guard (The flag spinny girls for all of the non-band geeks out there), I don't hang out with many people, I've been told I'm pretty smart, I identify as gender fluid, and if you want to know more about me, feel free to ask, no guarantees on an answer. I pre-apologise for how bad I am at socializing, I try but often fail due to my extreme lack of experience, dark sense of humor, extreme levels of sarcasm, lack of knowledge about current slang (snazzy, whipper-snapper, punk, and the bomb are more my speed) and overall awkwardness. I'm from a messed up family in a town where everyone hates me and because of this I have turned out pretty messed up. I'm also pretty shy but once you break me out of my shell and earn my trust I promise it will be worth your time to have done so. If you're here just to pretend you care for 9 months and to tell me you love me and we are fine a day before ghosting me, don't even fucking try If we can hold a conversation on here I will gladly give you my discord, kik or Google hangouts. If I really trust you I will give you my Snapchat and/or Skype Please give me a chance because if you give me an honest shot, I will give you my all. For all who have asked: No, Cinder is not my legal name. It would have been if I was born a male but I do prefer it due to the gender neutralness compared to my legal name. Everyone who knows me on a personal level calls me Cinder. And I'm also Pagan and gender fluid so if that offends you, leave now because I'm not going to change. Congrats if you made it this far most people are too lazy to read all of that crap.
Favourite Music
Our Common Collapse, Trivium, Slipknot, Black Veil Brides, Fit for Rivals, Motionless in White, Everclear, AC-DC, As It Is, Marilyn Manson and a lot more. I will listen to almost anything outside of country music.
Favourite Films / TV / Books
V for Vendetta, The Matrix, Men in Black, D-gray man, Star Wars, anime, Supernatural, and a ton others
Ummm.... Too many to choose from, but mostly manga and murder mystery.
Education / Occupation
Last year of high school before I go off to college to bury myself in student debt in order to get a PhD
Who I'd Like To Meet
Fun people who understand sarcasm, can take a bit of crap, won't leave me after 2 weeks of talking and will give me an honest shot. Not actively looking for romance but I am fully open to it. Who am I kidding, I don't have enough options to be picky so you will probably be just fine for me.
Maybe I am the reason why no one wants to be near me for more than a few sentences. Who am I kidding? At this point it has to be me. Honestly, I don't blame them for not wanting to associate with me.
I am so done with everyone telling me I am not good enough. I get it. I am worthelss in your eyes but at this point in my life I could not care less about you. But if you could stop reminding me everyday about how much I suck at everything it would be great.
It is amazing how alone I feel in a room full of people who say they care about me. I gave them whatever they wanted without question for years but yet in the few times where I really need them they walk away as if I never meant anything to them.
I was really worried that something happened to him after he failed to reply for days and the last time that happened something really bad had happened. But it turns out he is just deciding not to talk to me for a reason I cannot figure out. So thanks for the fucking panic attacks. Glad you are not dead. Would have been better if you would have just said that rather than me having to dig to find that out. But maybe he will decide to reply within the next week.
I'm sorry to everyone and everything that I have left for what seems to be no reason this past year. I had to save myself more this time than I ever have had to before and I am sorry if I left you feeling abandoned and alone. I wish I could say that I am back but I can't. My pace towards destruction is only excellerating and I am still just trying to find a ledge to stop myself on. If I find that ledge, I will have to stop on it to try and fix myself enough to be able to fake being ok but even that will take a while. I am sorry. So sorry. I am sorry I left but I will never again say I am sorry for trying to save myself.
