Emma
22 / Female / Illinois, United States
Straight / In a Relationship with Bbear7
Member since:
Jan 02, 2020
Last online:
Oct 21, 2023
Current rating: 5.6/10 (12 votes cast)
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About Me
Hey my name's Emma, I'm just a shy antisocial girl that's into playing video games, reading, listening to music, singing, stargazing and I've been taking coding classes you can add me on Snapchat if you want my username's blacklash87 and my Discord is BlackLash87#8935 you can add/message me if you want to
Favourite Music
Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Set It Off, Imagine Dragons, The Offspring, Black Veil Brides, Linkin Park, Bring Me the Horizon, Falling In Reverse, Twenty One Pilots...
Favourite Films / TV / Books
For movies the Harry Potter series, The Outsiders, The Giver, the Child's Play series, Blood and Chocolate and a lot of others for shows I don't watch much just mainly YouTube and anime(my favorite anime is Tokyo Ghoul) and for books the Harry Potter series, The Outsiders, The Giver, Touching Spirit Bear, IT, The Institute, Blood and Chocolate...
For those that care/worry about me I'm still alive somehow I feel like everyday is harder for me to talk to people whether it's friends, family or a significant other I want to be strong for them but lately I've been clingy, needy and distant which doesn't help me since I have monophobia which is the fear of being alone that's rooted to abandonment/traumatic experience during your childhood with me my monophobia started back when I was 9 because of my mother's death and the fact I pretty much had to raise myself anyways I'll never admit this to others but it seems like everyday I feel unwanted, I break down crying some days, I'm tempted to cut and I just feel forgotten if you're reading this I appreciate it I'll try to be on here more often
So last night I snapped on this guy I kinda have a crush on for showing off the hickies he got from his ex and before that he was bragging about how he kissed a girl this guy drives me insane as if just talking to him is an addiction he has a completely different effect on me compared to any other guy I've met to put it lightly and he sees me as "just a friend" yet he acts like an ass as if to say "you wouldn't have a chance with me" and it really pisses me off especially when I've tried being there for him and helping him out
I hate myself I always end up hurting people even though I don't want to or intend on hurting people I've hurt a lot of people and I regret it so much but there's nothing I can do it seems like I always want "better" when I should just be happy with what I have I hate myself so much...
Don't you hate it when a friend of yours brags like a mother fucker? A guy friend of mine decided to be an asshole last month by bragging about how he got to go to a My Chemical Romance concert I know, I know it sounds dumb but what made it the absolute worst was that he said it the day after I was trying to get over the anniversary of a tragic event in my life and then he says he's going to a Set It Off concert this December with a random girl like I would KILL to go to those concerts hell I can barely get my hands on band merch tell me that isn’t a dick move
Why do people add me or message me only to delete their account before I view the notification(s)? It makes no sense at least add me on Snapchat if nothing else and yes I'm still active on here for those of you wondering I've been here for two years and meet amazing people I'm not going to just up and leave or abandon my account I may not be on 24/7 but I'm still here
Ok look I don't want to start off 2022 fighting off a bunch of haters ok? Just because I'm a fan of something you hate like Harry Potter doesn't mean you have to come tell me that just keep your opinions to yourself no one wants to hear it and I'm pretty sure no one gives a damn I swear to God if I get one more message saying "Harry Potter sucks" or "You just like Harry Potter because you think the characters are hot" I'm blocking you so consider this a warning to everyone and for those of you that wonder why I even like Harry Potter it's because I grew up with it I'd rewatch the movies with my brother and reread the books I loved (and still love) the concept of magic existing, magical creatures being real, Hogwarts and all the magic being hidden in plain sight and that the houses represent something all four have meaning like Hufflepuff represents kindness and loyalty yet strength, Gryffindor represents bravery and courage, Ravenclaw represents wisdom and wit and last but not least Slytherin represents cunning and ambition that's why I love Harry Potter plus I could relate to Harry's character it's as easy as that nothing more nothing less I just feel like I should get that off my chest so the haters can shut up
I just need to rant right now...it's currently 3:48 A.M. for me and lately I've been feeling stressed more than anything also been feeling down and depressed but that's another story lately I've just been lost in my thoughts while trying to pull myself together but I think I'm slowly cracking after like ten years of being through hell and back I think I'm actually gonna snap I know nobody cares about me and I've accepted that fact I don't expect anyone to care or accept me the old me used to knock myself out for other people but now I just don't care take me or leave me, hate me or love me I don't care anymore I've given up on everything I know those of you reading this if anyone think I'm posting this for attention or something when the reality is that I'm speaking from my heart, mind and soul I genuinely stand by what I've said and I'm not gonna knock myself out trying to prove that I'm right so believe me or don't it's up to you
Bored...
It's 1:45 AM for me and I'm not tired so anyone wanna talk? If you do just message me I won't bite your head off or insult you or anything like that also this time in five days it'll be eight years since my mom's death day so R.I.P. if you couldn't figure out extactly when my mom died it was May 27th 2013 at 4:45 AM anyway hope to hear from someone and sorry if I seem to be a downer I just can't forget something that's been burned into my brain that I'm gonna remember for the rest of my life...I guess that's all I got to say