Sep 30 2024, 10:09 PM

Dreams are a form of reality you know. /ᐠ˵- ˕ - ˵マ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

Whenever people say "Don't worry, it was just a dream" they fail to comprehend that dreams are very real as they are happening, so those unpleasant things that may have happened were real in those moments, but become fading memories when we are awake, pushed to the back of our consciousness until we have another unpleasant dream. I don't have nightmares as often as I did when I was a kid, though my dreams feel so lonely and unsettling at times, hostile even. It's sometimes hard to gauge when a dream is unfriendly, the mind knows best how to fuck with a person since our dreams are extensions of everything we've come to know about our own existence, our passions, what makes us sad, what makes us happy, what we're afraid of. There have been dreams I've had where I wondered if I would wake up because the hostile presence felt like it wouldn't allow me to escape - I've had many occurrence's like this where when the dream begins to shift into uncomfortable territory, uncanny and not safe, I'll try everything I can to wake up since this is the point where I usually become lucid, and the dream turns into a lucid nightmare - where I'm actively aware that I'm stuck inside my own mind while my body outside is asleep in bed, but sometimes everything I try to do to wake up is all for nothing and a fruitless venture as I'll stay locked in the space of my mind, not allowed to open my eyes and wake up. This occurs a lot as well during false awakenings, something I've talked about in the past and I don't understand at all how it works, how we can be trapped within a place that shouldn't even exist when we are asleep. How is it that our brains are able to come up with so many different arrays of pictures and create strange story plots while we're asleep? I go to bed every night, knowing that I'll end up somewhere that isn't of earth. When I'm awake I spend all of my time behind the computer screen, working on different projects, consuming mindless media, but when I sleep I spend time in very unreal places, and it's based on RNG whether it's a good or uncomfortable experience. I've still been taking Valerian root every night before bed alongside my tea, I've stopped taking Benadryl for the most part besides when I need it - and from what I can tell the Valerian root sometimes causes some very unexplainable weird dreams that just confuse me when I wake up, but I guess that's part of the dreaming experience sometimes, complete nonsensical occurrence's. Last night I recall part of a dream where I was walking through a dark and wooded, but swampy area where I was getting bug bites that were uncomfortable and itchy but because it was all within the mind and I wasn't lucid there was no relief - that was, until I realized I was with a dream character who I can't recall the physical details of, though whoever it was seemed to be walking alongside me until they disappeared again and it was just me but I found a turtle on the grass and remember picking it up and looking it over, it's scales and flesh looked as though it were made of raw chicken, which I believe it was and was afraid of getting Salmonella from handling the turtle because well dream logic is sometimes quirky like that. I woke up suddenly and those were the only details I could recall. I want to spend more and more time within these places and explore them more to try and understand the physics and how they work. This is very unexplored territory, people always discuss wanting VR to be akin to sword art online when we are already able to push these limits of technology through our own mentality in our sleep. It's a space we shouldn't be able to explore, but some of those who are lucky like me are able to. Why is it? I need to know more. It's hard to find people to talk to about this because most don't bother to consider what it means that there is a strange place in our sleep we can escape to and be aware inside of - normies and people who have a closed off mind and don't want to accept that there's a place beyond here within our own stream of self conscious. Why does everything feel so much more real when I'm asleep, is it because of the mental problem, being so detached from reality? Maybe a place where reality is a nonexistent is where my detached mind feels most at home with the peculiar surroundings of a dreamscape.