You say, you say that we're all tied up
And wrapped around in useless, states of mind
But at the same time we're still young
We have the time to realize that we were wrong Beauty in the Breakdown, by The Scene Aesthetic
Alex
29 / Male / Essex, United Kingdom
Single
Member since:
Aug 12, 2012
Last online:
Mar 09, 2017
Current rating: No rating yet/10 (0 votes cast)
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About Me
my names Alex i like a lot of things, im not very good at talking about myself in detail so im a bit shit at writing these things. theres not much exciting to say about myself really. i like cats loads cos theyre so awesome, and i have a shorthair tabby cat called Miss Mia =]
im also a recovering drug addict, and i know that when some people read that its gonna make them think less of me or judge me or whatever, but my addiction and recovery is a big part of my life and so if you talk to me i'll probly end up bringing it up a few times.
thats really all theres is to say about me without repeating whatevers below here, sorry its so poorly written by the way.
Favourite Music
all sorts really, mostly metal and rap tho, if i was gonna list all my favourite bands/artists thisd be really long and to be honest i can't be arsed thinking of them all.
Favourite Films / TV / Books
comedy movies, i don't watch tv really, it bores me, i watch mostly dvds cos i aint got a tv, at the moment i kinda really love shows like: Dexter, Breaking Bad, Family Guy, The Young Ones, stuff like that.
all sorts really, i read stuff if i like it. i tend to prefer books about history, science, crime, serial killers, autobiographies and biographies too. i dont read a lot of fiction though, which is something i wish i read more of. my favourite book at the moment is actually 'The White Book' from Narcotics Anonymous, its a good read even if your not an addict. i spend more time reading than i spend watching movies and stuff. it interests me a lot more cos i can put a book down if i need a cigarette, but i cant pause a cinema. plus books last longer too. anyway im just rambling
Education / Occupation
vampirism
Who I'd Like To Meet
anyone thats accepting of me, i mostly want friends more than anything
been years since i wrote a journal entry. i dont expect anyone to read all this, but i really need to express this somewhere though.
Last night i was taken to hospital by the paramedics, cos i couldnt breathe right and my heartbeat was irregular and i felt really fatigued. i ended up getting wheeled out of my flat in a wheelchair, some of my neighbours saw; it was so embarrassing.
Anyway it turns out i have quite a bad lung infection and that i might also have lupus, the doctors said that (due to me having pneumonia a year ago), my lungs are quite week and prone to infection, and if left untreated this infection could have killed me.
this situation has left me so scared because before going hospital i had genuinely thought i was fine, but i really wasn't. And then when the reality hit me of how serious this could have potentially been, its left me with a feeling i cant describe; a feeling of basically questioning every choice ive ever made in life and everything ive 'achieved' and more notably all the things ive never done yet, and i been just questioning how important life is. ive never been scared of dying, but the idea of dying without doing any of the things i had a chance to yet, that idea really disturbs me, i honestly dont know how to feel about all of this
when i said to her "i forgive you" it was my way of saying "you've poisoned our friendship and i will never trust or rely on you again so fuck off cos i don't want to know you!"
got kicked out of my house today. :(
and im so fucking sick of my ex phoning me and harassing me. how can a 19 year old woman with a daughter be so obsessed with a 17 year old boy with aspergers? fucking dumb! if i did this shit to her that'd be called stalking!!!
more gutted about getting kicked out my house, gotta stay in a hotel 3 days then find a place to live
