Aug 31 2013, 08:05 PM

Just an update and whatever. Let's start off with school. Not many there who I really like and really like being around. I'm actually just there so I can hurry on with my life. Ugh! Just wish it would end Now, Life. Yeah, school didn't have much. Sorry. But it's school, what more do you need. Anyway, my aunt died a week ago I think. Not to mention, my other aunt has been in the hospital for overdosing. I've been just a bit more depressed than usual and one of my friends must have noticed because she pulled me to the side and just made out with me. She knew I liked her I guess... NEW TOPIC! I'm beginning to hate people more and more each day. Seems everywhere I look, everywhere I go, there is always that one person who wants to bring me down some how or want to find some way to make me like them. I'll admit, I kind of like being single. Sure, I'd like to have that one person in my life to hug and cuddle and things like that but I honestly don't mind. It's nice and quiet without shit to put up with. Besides, I like it more than my past relationships. I've been verbally abused by so many people that I'm kind of scared to trust anyone...Anyway, time to leave...

Aug 16 2013, 07:37 PM

WARNING: EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN IN PROGRESS! So, for the first time ever, this girl is actually upset over the loss of her pets. I've never gotten close to a pet after I got to the age of nine. Now, I just lost three of my closest pets. The first two were my pet mice that I loved to death. I'm not sure what happened to them and now a kitten I named Casper. His mother abandoned him so I began to take the role of the mother for the little kitten. He would sleep on me and I had to feed him though he wouldn't use the bathroom...I think that is how he died... He died this morning around 7 and I got to school crying like a baby. I guess I had some odd connection with him... Anyway, it's about time I say that my depression is only getting worse. My body seems to immediately get use to any medicine I take and I've only been on this dosage for five months and it's just now starting to not work. It's been a while since I've contemplated suicide and here I am again, thinking that it would be easier on everyone...but there is always someone who sees that and they talk me out of it after I cry on their shoulder. I just wish that I could wake up from this sick thing I call reality and live a life I enjoy. I'm tired of living a life where I only know four people that I know actually care about me. For once, I just want to cry on someone and wish that they could help me through everything. I need someone who will make me laugh and want to see a new day just because they are in my life.

Aug 08 2013, 02:18 PM

So, today I found out that one of my closest friends (not to mention crushes) have gotten married...it kind of disappoints me but what am I to suspect? It's not the first time something like this has come to me, disappointing me and leaving me empty. At least I have a few people in my life I trust with all of my heart and I love. I just can't wait until I find someone who really loves me for everything about me, y'know? Thought I had that, lost it quicker than I thought I ever would...I just need a break I guess... I wish I could get more confidence, enough for me to tell people how I actually feel about them. I know that a few would more than likely feel the same and I hope that within those few, the one person I'm bound to meet and love would be in there...though I'm sure I'm meant to be forever alone.

Aug 02 2013, 02:50 PM

Recently, I've been thinking...I think it is about time that I dump some of my friends how, well, just don't care. Not many do care other than the few that I just met maybe a year ago. Ugh, I also need to find some way to get through my depression...Don't even know why I'm posting this one here...