IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK TO FEEL NORMAL???!! Everyday, I go to a school full of people who one way another make me feel like getting lobotomised! Then I go home to a family that makes no sense, containing a bully who is naught but a living piece of loathsome shit!!! Begs the question...
What did we do to deserve this!!!!!!????
Realizing that you've been living a lie for 13 months is really haertbreaking. But now, more than ever, I know that pain is not a final destination. To all and any of my brothers and sisters caught in the melancholy of existence, I say this: You are not alone. :) x
People often ask me what its like having Asperger's Syndrome. The following is the analogy I use both for that and how I feel in general:
Imagine being in a glass box, within which I dwell, on a daily basis people come from far and wide to look at the strange creature within, offering patronising comments and pure lack of understanding. This depresses the beast in the box and when it gets to much, the box fills up with water, when it reaches my head, I drown. Then I wake up again and it begins all over again. There is a door aswell but it can only be opened from the outside. So now I ask the question, who is gonna set me free?
Last night I had a dream that I was lying in my bead and there was a great light above me. When I looked I saw a sky dotted with stars and nebulae and slowly but surely I began to float upwards. when I looked again I saw a hill with a single pine tree and the aurora borealis in the background. then I woke up and realized how shit this world is. Gods above, let me see the stars again.