Jan 02 2016, 04:56 AM

I feel so empty, but I'm not numb. I wish I was.. but dreams and hopes don't always come true, now do they? When we are talking I'm blushing, smiling, from being so happy. I forgot what that was like. But then he changed. He made me feel so useless, like absolute shit. But the past is the past. I get these butterflies and my doubts. Because I compare myself to her. And think to myself he deserves better, and i don't know if I'm better. But if you make me yours I can change that. You're all I think about. And i won't lie I get sad when we aren't talking. I feel like you're you're part of me, maybe I'm losing it. I'm afraid that somehow I fucked up and lost you. But, then I read through those messages and everything feels okay. I know I'm friend zoned but you admitted those feelings... and I believe you. Just make me a promise? That you'll never leave? And i can call you mine? Or am I asking too much of you, because you said you loved me, and that i was beautiful, but since she's so much better, i'll say my goodbyes, and when they find my body beside a note, it'll tell them how terrible it is to fall for someone like you, a thorned angel, something beautiful, but when you get too close , it makes you bleed, like the razors i need. When you raped me, you brought me to my knees, i had never thought you could be so cruel, and when you called me a slut after you forced yourself on me, you killed me inside. Now i know just how vicious this world can be, but in the end, I'm stronger than you, and everything this world can throw at me. ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Now on a different note guys, you've seen only a glimpse of some of the bad stuff thats happened to me, and i came through better for it in the end. Please please please don't cut or harm, just hold on for the hopes of a brighter future, cause the misery cant stay, the darkness cant stay forever, eventually even night has to give way to the sun, hold onto that idea, that it will get better eventually because it will, i know these things because i've been through it. I have the experience, and let me tell you that it isnt easy by a longshot, its one of the hardest things you will do, but you will do it, because you're strong. I believe in you my beautiful potatoes