Saturday night was going ok and I was having quite a good night until the bloody idiot chav decided to head-butt me. He was being a cocky twat in front of his mates and the eternal battle between emo and chav came to light again. He did get ejected from the club and I wanted to go and have a word with him, but the bouncers wouldnt allow me to leave, probably for the best in hindsight as I was rather wound up. I gained a nice cut lip, and as I went down, I got a bump on the back of my head, scrapes on my back and arms. Most of them have started healing rather well, however my teeth are still aching. :( I think the bump on the head may have given me slight concussion as well, as I was sick a few times after the incident. Thankfully my SnakeBites didnt get caught or I think that could have been rather painful and messy. :s I called Louis on Sunday morning and filled him in on what had happened and he got a bit upset, bless him. He did end up making me feel a bit better though after wed spoke, so that was good. :) For the rest of Sunday I didnt do a great deal, I was just nursing my battle wounds mostly and catching up on washing....fun!!! Pimp Daddy Andy: I decided to split this section off as its not really related to the weekend just gone. Hmmm yes the exs ex was just a disaster waiting to happen and Im glad I decided against it all. I have regained an old friend (like you said), which has been good. Haha Gosh, all this action youre getting, yep, Im just a regular Pimp Daddy; Im fighting them off with a stick at the moment. :P Ekkk gained a sort of boyfriend *Andy breaks into a cold sweat and has to start breathing into a brown paper bag* :s, give me some warning when youre going to say things like that to me. :P Haha no its all ok at the moment as regards Louis. Yay! You like the Mighty Boosh, quality programme in my book. :D Haha that kind of sounds a bit like one of my sayings actually, mines bad things dont happen to me, I happen to them. :P Aww of course Im not slagging of what youre saying. Yeah they are all bastards, not really been in touch with many of them since, I have enough to get sorted out without them adding to it.

Rocking the casbah. :P: Hmmm dont get me started on head Doctors, Ive seen a couple and they just appear to be condescending, perpetual bullshiters who just want to pump you full of drugs that from my experience actual make things worse. As you can probably tell, I dont have a lot of time for them. Avoid them like the plague if you can. Hehe, I often reduce things down to blah, blah, blah when I have little interest in them, or dont see the point etc, but Im glad it put a smile on your face. :D Hehe, yeah my independence has built up to a level Im happy with, it has been partly reactive and partly proactive, but it does help to keep me from being too reliant on anyone, Ive made that mistake in the past. Ahem, Im not that picky when it comes to gay dudes....ok I am but the odd one gets through. :D Arrggghhh! Id hate being thick, I so wouldnt be able to deal with it. I know some people say its a simpler existence but I dont know if I could cope. :s Hmmm I sometimes wonder if when Im hunting for problems, Im doing it as some sort of defence mechinism to avoid risking myself getting hurt. I suppose when/if the right person comes along then maybe that may change, so far I havent started doing it with Louis. Make of that what you want. :P Gee the straight, arrogant, egotistical bastard sounds a hell of a dude. :D Hmmm I have know a few people who have managed to change their behaviour when it happens to them, however usually just like you said its short lived. I shall have to have a browse through your Myspace blogs when I get chance, they sound stimulating. :D Hehe, it is freaky. My heart ended up in a jar after it took a good beating from the relationship with my last serious boyfriend, I turned a blind eye to a bit too much and lots of things I had suspected turned out to be true and the poor thing was rather battered and bruised so its in the jar to have some rest and try and repair. It does wake me up in the middle of the night every once in a while when it decides to beat. :D Hehe he is cute and adorable, and being far too nice to me (Ive told him to quite or Ill get used to it), and makes sure that Im introduced and included when Ive been to see him and met his friends, and only makes me beg a little bit. :P Well I think Ive probably told you his name already, in fact Im pretty sure I have, but its Louis. Haha no he will always be a boy to me, I have a pair of jeans that are older than him. :P Hehe youre so bad, even though I call him boy, hes a big dude in all the right places. ;). Yeah I have managed to refrain from my usual pessimism where Louis is concerned, might be because he is a really open, honest person and so I havent had any reason to think there is something else behind how he is with me and what he says (I acknowledge that its a rather annoying symptom of ADHD where I often over analyise peoples behaviour and what they say to the point of paranoia and pessimism, I usually expect the worst from people :/)

Tantra Spokesgirl for gays: I listened to most of the Radio 1 weekend but I didnt watch too much of it. Hmmm yeah gets me rather wound up as well when gay is used in that sense, I actually get more annoyed when gay is used like that more than being called queer by some chav, it just feels like a realy put down when gay gets used like that. :s I am just visualising you now having a mini rant, on your podium of course. :P Haha strange, that was the only bit I liked about Fall Out Boys new album as well. :D Well Im told I get my height from the rent mothers side, which I can kind of go with as Ive been told my Granddad on that side was about the same height and a couple of my uncles on that side are as well. However as my rent father doesnt actually know who his dad was it could have come from that side as well. Hehe I dont do taller guys, I did once and I dont know why but I just couldnt get used to it. I have no problems with guys the same height, Louis is just over 6ft so is more or less the same and Im quite comfortable with that. I suppose in general I do tend to go for shorter guys though, although one guy I was seeing was 5ft 2, I always felt like I should pop him into my pocket or something. :P

Annoying neighbours / chavs / bottom feeders / embarrassment to society: Of course I care baby girl, I guess it takes time to get back into things. Hmmmm yeah its just one of those things where you think, Ill definitely do it tomorrow, why is it I only live for today again. :/ I do think youre look at it in the best way though, if youre not a 100% on achieving what you want to for these exams, why bother burning yourself out trying to get a mediocre grade when you can do better focusing your efforts on the resits. I think thats the most important bit, making sure you come out the other side / on top and not letting whatever happens get the better of you, glad you and me both came out on top . :) Hehe I would hope you feel you moan about anything you want as much as you want, a long time ago I decided for myself that anything Ive been through is no easier or harder than what anyone else has, well thats my thoughts on it anyway. Haha yeah hopefully if there are a handful of people like you and me around then when world war three breaks out or ebola or somethings rids society of the chavs then society may have a chance at rebuilding and recovering from what it is now. :D Hmmmm weekends with uncle Hadyn were always educational, thermite is a particular favourite of his. :P Haha, we could launch a new event, a little bit like the scouts bob a job week, we could have gas a chav week, I think we get a lot of support. :D Straightish boys: Hehe, well what can I say, the boy in school had a body to die for, and I was more than happy to help him to erm de-stress after a hard day being a prefect. :P He still looks pretty good now and I am quite mean I suppose sometimes when Im visiting his, I have a nasty habit of giving him a little look and a smile, the poor guy goes bright red and makes an excuse to leave the room whilst I chat to his wife and play with beth. :P Yeah the case worker/cousin one was a definite case of dodging the bullet.....phew!

Gay wardrobe, interesting outfits, photo shoot, catwalk: Haha yes my wardrobe was rather stereotypical at one point, a lot of it came about whilst doing promotion stuff for Fairy Likuid, one did have to look the part. :P Well the originally discussed photo shoot, and agreed slight hair trimming ended up turning into something totally different. Two photo shoots have now taken place, Louis is going through the photos to collate which ones he is happy for the world to see, my hair has been somewhat scalped, despite my rather vocal questioning and objections along the lines of erm I thought wed agreed that my fringe was staying pretty much intact, with Louis saying no we didnt agree, we discussed, so anyone I now have hair which is short up the back and sides, had about an inch and a half taken off the top, I still have some fringe, which is cut short at either side, but getting longer towards the middle and it just hangs over my eye line. I have said hmmmm a lot of times since having it done, but I think once it grows a bit I will be happier. The first photo shoot went pretty well actually (this one was done in Bath), I was a bag of nerves at first, but the photographer was a really nice guy, very good at putting me at ease and was authoritive I think is the right word when saying how he wanted me to stand, position myself etc, but he wasnt an arsehole with it (when we used to do the promo shoots for Fairy Likuid the guy just used to scream at us, no fun at all). After about twenty minutes I just got into and enjoyed myself loads, strike a pose just doesnt come close. :D I assumed that was it, however Louis had not mentioned that there was actually two themes to his collection and the second theme was to be done back in London. So we made our way to London after a few days in Bath, did the photo shoot the day after, same photographer which I was happy about, the first theme of Louiss collection was very much emo based, but I actually understood what he meant by emo chic when I saw them, hes done quite well in designing some clothes that an emo would feel comfortable and happy in, still have a non-conformist, alternative feel but would be perfectly wearable for work/smart environments, something Ive been trying to find for a while, all looked good. The second theme was very different, very much more high fashion, a little bit out there but still looked good, just different. I will admit I turned into a bit of a model diva on the second shoot, I found my confidence, the inner model came out. :P Louis was practically collapsing with laughter at my new found love of the camera. :D The photos I had chance to look at looked quite impressive. The catwalk stuff though was very much unexpected and I have no memory of Louis ever mentioning it, despite what he says. This was something totally different, at one point I had my hair cover under a glued on cap, my entire head was painted white and I had a wedge of black hair on my head. :s The actual clothes I quite liked, I just wasnt sure about the head stuff, but I dont pretend to know about these high fashion things. :D Louis did model as well for the catwalk show, he also had his head painted white, but had feathers, and a peacock feathers on his back, and this hump thing, which I still keep chuckling at, but like I say, I dont pretend to know anything about high fashion. :P A friend of Louiss has pointed me to a couple of pictures that were taken. The first one is me, the second one is Louis. I must have done ok as one of Louiss friends whos doing the same course has asked if Id be willing to go down and do catwalk for his collection, Louis is doing it already. Haha get me, I promise not to turn into a diva. :P

Alcohol and drug life: Im glad Im making you giggle often and your welcome to steal it. :P I like giggling, Ive been told its a really likable quality. :D I await my medal. :P Yeah not good, I dont really have any issue with what people wish to do to themselves, but when its affecting another life in such a direct way as being pregnant then surely that has to be taken into consideration. I shall pass on your aww bless. :P Haha, no I dont think there is a gay without a bit of camp in them either, it would be like a banana without a skin. :P Hehe, I have a few little tricks that I use when I am wanting attention from or giving attention to a gay dude, a great one is the object drop, it can work either way, if the gay dude goes to pick it up, I get the check out as he stands up, or if the gay dude doesnt then I can do the check out as I stand back up. I will admit thats quite a suggestive one. Hip thrusts have taken place during stand ups. :P The invisible time check one is really useful as well to see if they happen to be looking back at you, Ive had great fun with that one. I use gay dude all the time now and the trend is spreading amongst my friends, so feel proud your influence is spreading to different parts of the country. :D

Honesty, truth and intelligent conversation: Careful baby girl, I dont mind the odd prodding. :P Aww thank you, youre pretty awesome yourself and Im so glad were friends. :D Incomplete, unfilled and poorly thought out profiles: Haha, we always used to get plenty of cheers on the fallouts, Im sure it was the collective thinking of all the gay dudes that made it happen. :P Ok, so thats a no on the drums. :/ Hmmm send you a gay dude, just a minute, I think I have one that I keep in the cupboard for when I really dont feel like cleaning, I think his names Mapanco, a friend got him of a Thai Bride site in error, thought he was going to be a girl, theres no returns policy for those sites. :P Ill get him wrapped up and posted to you, his English isnt that great. :D Anyway back to the incomplete profiles theme, I actually think we are managing to spread the word and people are beginning to take notice. I have spotted that fellow members of soEmo.co.uk are starting to take the time to make more effort in filling out their profiles. Its making me smile. :D I settled quite happily with OurAndy, although technically isnt it now MyAndy/TantrasAndy from other conversations. :P Hmmmm yes I do get the urge to go exploring and adventuring often, and I did disappear for two weeks, I was in need of some unplugged time from the world and it was very much spare of the moment. I did feel a little lonely now and again but the surroundings, sights, experiences more than made up for it. I would do it again; no doubt, I would maybe just take a little more equipment. True I could have gotten hurt and all the rest, but the risk/reward ratio worked very much in my favour on that occasion. :D Painted nails and such a gay night: Yeah I must admit not many of my friends use fit or hot, a couple of my babies do, but they are being educated. :P Haha you can (and do) remind whenever you wish, and I shall of course do the same for you. :) I like random questions. :D My birthday is sixth of august, and I was given birth to by the rent mother in 1974. Makes me a Leo, although Im not in any way like my star sign suggests *nervous whistle*. :P

Acquiring words & phrases from friends: Hmmm thats not good that my Cool beans has been tainted in such a way, although I will acknowledge that Louis actually uses the phrase in a similar way, must be a London thing. :/ Yeah I can only assume that such people think we may be as week minded and week willed as they are and so that what they say may get to us, like you said sad and pathetic. Haha, I have experienced that so many times when some idiot has had the opportunity to say something right to my face and then leave it until they have gotten to the coward zone as I have come to call it. :D Sheep and saddos is such an accurate description. :/ Im glad my description of my oh my god came out as I intended, well as best it could. Hehe, my actual oh my god when spoken does have a habit of destroying any argument that I am not camp, I have developed a very camp execution of it. :P Ekkk yeah, the cold incidents seem to be so long ago now, my random, spontaneous approach to life seems to make time go quickly and my increasing inability to stand still for a bit makes it worse. :D Thankfully I have been feeling pretty ok health wise recently (I hope you have too), I cant say I can put it down to anything, I have just been feeling a little more with it than usual. Hehe, I have hissing days, I actually enjoy them if Im in that mood. Although if its a cute gay dude then they are spared the hiss. :D I used to always opt for the window seat, for the same reasons as you, however as I have gotten older I struggle to stay seated for more than about twenty five minutes (deterioration of ADHD so Im told) and I have started feeling very trapped if I cant get up and wander about. :/ I do have phases when I do just get sick of the herbal teas and have a little break, but I still try to keep my caffeine intake to low levels or I do get a little wired on it, and its so not funny. :s Haha The herbal boxes on the shelf are probably in the kitchen now whispering oh now she comes crawling back, I am so loving that, talking herbal tea *TantrasAndy phones to book the padded cell next to his for Tantra* :D Ahem, well yes you might be right coffee is usually more of a mans drink and tea is for the rest. :p Hehe I agree the continuation of Whats the point?! is a definite must. I actual feel the urge to create a new scroll box on my profile containing a Whats the point? List. :D Ahahahahahaha, that would be quite an image, I think the closest I shall be coming to gardening in the next few years is only going to be the up-hill variety. ;) Oh but I make great scones. :P Laptop addiction: When I realised I had forgotten to bring my power lead for the laptop, once the battery had died, I felt like I had lost an arm. I dont mind admitting that I was feeling really uneasy and lost without my laptop. Louis managed to create a few distractions. :P Hmmm I seem to suffer that, when I am sans funds I cant get rid of my wallet, when I have some, I end up dropping it everywhere......whats the phrase!? Sods Law. :s

Gay dudes with a great female form: Haha, hmmm, there have been a few comments from less than impressed women. Bambi (who I should probably point out is now my former best friend), was in Blackpool the other day for Blackpool Pride and pretty much went all out dress to impress, as the photo below shows. :D After I read your next comment with regard to someone saying to you are you anorexic? I will admit I had a bit of a mini-strop and rant coming on. The checking your arms bit, I would have seriously flipped.....grrrr!!! I get seriously pissed off when people try to make me out as a liar, I was pretty much the same weight from being about fourteen, right up to being about twenty one and I used to get lots of similar comments, got/gets me so angry! Like you say, I really dont see why they should care! If perhaps a family member or close friend had said something you can take it as concern, but anyone else and it just comes down to being bitchy!!! Yeah I cant say I get the whole gay dudes who are more like women than most women but dont want to be women thing, but I guess each to their own. The contradiction I have never attempted to figure out, my mind is chaotic enough. :/ Bi-Sexuality: I will admit that I get a little annoyed when usual gay dudes (from experience) attempt to force someone into choosing to be gay/lesbian or straight. I take the view that well being gay, being lesbian wasnt acknowledged or accepted fifteen, twenty years ago. However times have moved on, I look at it now that really bi-sexuality should be acknowledged and accepted by gay and lesbian communities, I dont see why being bi-sexual is any less valid than being gay, lesbian or straight! I can feel another rant coming, but I shall refrain. I will say from experience most bi-sexual people do end up either going gay/lesbian or straight, however it has been a fairly even split, but I do wonder is that because of pressure to choose or if it was their choice. I can accept looking at my own experiences that I only ever slept with one girl, she was my girlfriend and I was with her a long time, but I now see that I was just trying to convince myself that I was something I wasnt. On the flip side, I stopped counting the gay dudes a long time ago. :P I was bi-sexual for a long time as I wasnt sure if I had stronger feelings towards either sex, so I get quite annoyed when people do the pick a team speech. An old friend of mine has defined himself as bi-sexual for the last ten years and I support him with that, why should he be forced to make a choice. I do find it really ironic that todays gay and lesbian people have had to work hard to get their way of life accepted but they wont accept the bi-sexual way of life. Hehe I decided if a girl could ahem...give me the tingles that made me giggle. :P I get what you mean though. My bi-sexual friend is attracted to a person; it really doesnt matter if they are male or female. Haha, well, as I said I was a bit of a meat head, lol. I do prefer guys to be guys and have guys bodies, although Louis is probably more boyish, but Im sure I can live with it. :P Yeah martial arts was a long time ago, I still keep a slight interest, I get asked to be an examiner for dan gradings (black belt), which I do help out every now and again but not really something that is really a big part of my life anymore, regardless of getting injured, I prefer to focus my time and efforts elsewhere. Stereotypes: Well as of now its less than two weeks away, I am super excited, practically giddy, it will be Sheffields first official Pride event, we have expected numbers of 5000, so we are all hopeful that it will be a success. Its a free event and all the sponsorship has been given freely so I think its going to be great. :D

Gay bars: Haha Beautiful Thing, you just have to. :P Ekkk bebo, lots of fun for everyone....not! :s Haha Queer Clubbing, Only Cleaner! God it just gets worse....it does actually get far worse than that, but I will need to ease you into that. :D Im sure Ive said I will need to ease you into that a few times before to various gay dudes. :P Not all men are arseholes, formally known as Vegetarianism: Haha there are the odd few gay dudes and breeder dudes who arent arseholes. Aww Matts just a little sweetie pie. :P (Are we going to end up fighting for him, I scratch and pull hair you know :P) Hehe, if you cant beat your brother down, in true AA style I know a man who can :P Tantra unable to sleep and arsehole neighbours: Hopefully you will forego the irritation of arsehole neighbours on cheap booze. Heres hoping you stress levels can stay manageable. Aww, I not that great with pain either, all I can say is if you want go for it. Andys culinary skills: Yeah I often really cant be bothered to cook just for myself but if I have visitors I go uber chef. :P Haha, dont worry Im a little particular when it comes to toast which is usually why I end up doing my own. Ive lost count of how many jobs Ive had to be honest, I get bored easily. Ive only really stuck with I.T. for so long as I have as there have been many different areas to move into. I think I shall be looking to going into the digital artistry (not sure if Ive said before), although knowing me my mind will change about twenty times. I think journalist would suit you perfectly and yeah I would think that Londons got to be the best place for that as well. :) Okies, I look forward to my chibi. Haha, made me giggle the thought of a little me wandering round Tantras Sims 2 house. :D. Ekkk theres that boyfriend word again *reaches for paper bag*. :P Thanks for agreeing not to pop a cap in my ass. :D I remember you mentioning that you need a scanner, you were going to go for one of those three in one things, did you manage to get one? Yeah I find I use Gmail/Google Mail mostly now, I only really use my Hotmail for work stuff now. Microsoft have turned it into bloat ware pretty much like everything else they do. Haha, we have done the hug a straight guy days, comfortable running shoes and quick escape plans are rather essential. :P