Draw me :P Hahah

:) I dont want to be selfish How are you?

Yehh thankyou its nice being able to talk to someone and not be judged by the shit ive done. Ive always been the clever kid the one who is smart and cheery! im not i just act really im a failure i got the scars to prove it.

Yehh i think i've had depression since my granddad died. I dont liek talking to people im close to i feel like im letting them all down.

Im trying my hardest but i seriously have no energy what so ever. Im weeks behind on things but i just want to sleep or sit here and waste my time with things that dont even change anything.

I didnt say i was going to but i feel like if things carry on maybe one day thats what i'll become.

My muum is that person that expects me to be okay with it and im not yet again my mum does hate my dad ! He knew i needed him and he said he would be there for me i love you and all that and he dumpes me as i get on the bus home. I needed someone and now im left with no one. As for suicide thats not such a bad idea but i cba with all the planning of that.

Well here it goes then .... :P Dads been in ICU for nearly 2 weeks now and its hard. He's not getting any better i thought the point of hospitals was to make people better not worse. He's lying there not making any good change. He's yellow, he's skinny i cant remeber a time when ive been more scared than i am right now. I got told its a waiting game now, he wont drink eat or take his medication therefore i have to wait for my dad to drop down dead and be expected top be okay with it because i knew it was going to happen. Things dont work like that when your me and your head is already fucked over from the things you have seen and been invilved with. Of course my family dont know any of this why tell them? they will just be dissapointed angry and watch me like a hawk if i tell them everything i have done. My boyfriend well now ex he's a knob. we broke up because i couldnt deal with the stress of a relationship with my dad situation. He text me saying i still love you so i met him today in town after school we got back together so i was happy for a little while. Then he walks me to the bus stop the bus just pulled up and he decides to dump me. He knows how fucked up i am right now and he decides to do that. I feel like just giving up on everything now...

Haha are you sure ! Your letting yourself in for long reading !

Aww really ? You know 1 of my comments about all my shizz would take up th whole of your profile ! haha