Aug 28 2017, 08:15 AM

I hate life. I know that is one of the most cliche things to say on an emo website, but I just hate it all. I already have to deal with starting highschool this year, which is making me stressed as it is, but then I have to deal with the nightmare that is my family. I live with my uncle, my mom, and my three siblings, and I hate all of them. Yes, my dad is alive, and he lives super close too. The only problem is, my mom is a bitch, and she flat out refuses to give him any custody. Also, we get to see him two days a week, and it is only for a couple hours. One of the only family members that lives near me that I actually like most of the time gets no custody and gets too see us less than our evil grandmother does. I don't understand why he also has to pay child support to my mom when he is unemployed and she has a job that pays her quite a bit. Maybe if she spent less on alchohol and cigarrets and more on living and keeping us fed then she wouldn't have to beg him for her child support every time she sees him. Of course,he still pointlessly tries to win her back, even though she has a nice boyfriend, who I already like more than I like her. He never comes to the house when Jo is over. It's ridiculous. He even goes so far as to have our grandma pick us up from our house and take us to hers for an hour and then he picks us up from there. I am sick of it all, and that is not even the tip of the iceberg. On top of all of those problems, I have to deal with my grandma, who is made of pure evil. She is a mega christian to the point where I want to shoot myself every time I walk through the door. Because not only is she devoted to her religion to the point of insanity, but she is probably actually insane. I have to go to her house almost every day of the week and spend hours upon hours there enduring the torture that is her presence. And if you tell me you doubt she is bat shit crazy, then I will just tell you one of the very, very many fucked up things she has done to make my life miserable. She has banned all reading and electronics at her house. Yes, that does include kindles. Of course, she has a wonderful array of books about how god is the one and only thing anyone should ever care about because people got lucky and the church pounced on their situations and called the power of god. Seriously, she will punish you if you try to bring a book to her house, doesn't matter what it's about. And guess why she won't let us read. Can't think of a reason that actually makes sense? That's because it doesn't. Are you ready? She is afraid that if we read books at her house, that it is spiritualism and that demons will, no joke, kill her because we read Harry Fucking Potter in her house. When I went to Warped Tour this year, I met a monk, and they gave me a couple books about buddha and crap like that. I was so tempted to put one under her pillow, but I didn't want to reap the consequences. She would know it was me, I am the only one who openly defies her. Once, I asked her to drop me off at my mom's house before she went out to town, since our mom has told her repeatedly that she is allowed to do that if we want a break. She, of course, refused, and I wanted to punch the bitch in the face. I didn't end up punching her, but I did flat out refuse to get out of the car until I was at either her house or my mom's, preferably my mom's. Instead, like the bitch she is, she pulled out of the store parking lot and went to the bank. She continued to just do all of the errands that didn't require me to get out of the car, which wasn't many since she refuses to ever leave me alone in the car. I swear, all people ever think of me is that I am a little kid just because they are older than me, and I am sick of it. after she did all of those errands, she pulled into the McDonald's parking lot. at first, I wondered what she was doing there since we are all vegetarian and there is almost nothing there we can eat, when she pulls up to the speaker in the drive thru and, no joke, asks for some apple slices, and that is it. So, she pulls up to the windows and shit and gets the apple slices, then just pulls out without a word. A few minutes later, she pulls into the Taco Bell drive thru. Now, one thing you have to know about me is that Taco Bell is my favorite food on the planet, mainly the spicy potato soft taco and the cheesy bean and rice burrito on the dollar menu, because they are delicious and only a dollar. So, she pulls into the drive thru, and by then I am pretty sure I know what she is doing, which is cold hearted and just downright cruel. She orders her food and asks my brothers what they want (Madison wasn't there, she was at a friend's house), and of course ignores me, and I know better than to ask for anything at this point, so I just sit there waiting for their food to come through the window, and when it does, she pulls into the parking lot and hands out the food. She hands Adrian his food, then Connor, then gets her own, then , being a huge asshole, throws the bag of three apple slices to me. That is my lunch. Everyone gets my favorite food and I get three apple slices for lunch. I was so hungry, I started chewing on the napkins that came in my McDonald's bag. I thought we would go home now that she was done torturing me, but she wasn't done yet. After a few more minutes, she pulls into the Sonic drive thru, and I am ready to kill the bitch. She then orders shakes for everyone in the car but me, and, no joke, actually says that it is a reward for them because they put up with my crap all day. while we are waiting for the shales to some out, Connor says his burrito tastes like beef, so I take it and check it. I tell him there is no beef, but he doesn't want it anyway and says I can have it, and I eat it in what felt like three bites before she noticed and took it away and got me in trouble. I was in the clear until Adrian, the little tattletale dumb fuck tells her that I ate the burrito. She then gets mad at Connor and I both. She is mad at Connor for giving me his food. Then the shakes come, and she takes hers and hands one to adrian. She says that she can't give Connor his because she can't trust him to not share it with me. I was downright murderous at that point, and we went to go pick up Madison. I was just planning how I would sneak the shake into the house and give it to Connor when Adrian says hey Madison, we have a present for you, and hands her Connor's shake. Then she goes back into her friend's house because she had already called our mom and asked to stay the night. I wanted to kill everyone in sight at that moment, except maybe not connor. And we still haven't even gotten to the most fucked up stories. Imma sleep now.