Feb 22 2021, 08:30 AM

So unwell today 😩

Feb 21 2021, 05:57 PM

You probably won't remember, but I wrote you a letter once. I read something today that made me happy and so sad at the same time. Once again this letter is 100% yours... I've never held someone so close to me for so long like I have you. As in the past we've had blips of not speaking so much and then we find each other again and it's like nothing ever changed. I feel like I'm home. I love this. This time though...this time I feel we've been brutally honest with each other. At least, I have. In around about way. So let's be all cards on the table - we're pulled to each other like magnets but we've only ever been just friends. And then there's this sick twist of fate that's always pulling us apart. And I didn't think you were too bothered. Until I read something today and it hit me how hard this is for you too... Or at least was at the time you wrote it. We've met, waited 6 years then met again. Got better at it and only had a 3 month gap. But next month it'll be 2 years. That breaks my heart. Nothing really matters when we meet up. I need to see you. Nothing makes my day like seeing a message from you on phone or a notification on here. So...I guess that's me done. Oh, and I'm currently listening to BMTH - 1X1 You've been pretty quiet tonight. I miss you.

Feb 21 2021, 09:07 AM

Can these dreams fuck off now please ✌️

Feb 20 2021, 12:17 PM

Bring Me 🖤 Disconnected from the world again No, the sun don't shine in the place I've been So why you keep acting like I don't exist? Yeah, feel like I'm ready to die, but I can't commit So I ask myself, when will I learn? I'd set myself on fire to feel the burn I'm scared that I'm never gonns be repaired Put me out of my misery My mind feels like an archenemy Can't look me in the eyes I don't know what hurts the most Holding on or letting go Reliving my memories And they're killing me one by one Sabotaged myself again Got a brain like a hurricane Me and that bitch, no, we can't be friends And I don't even care, no Oh, got me sinking to a dark place (outta love) Evil twin under the staircase (oh, my god) Think I'm looking at a long night I'm alone, I'm alone, I'm alone, I'm alone Terrified (terrified) I am numb (but I'm numb) Annihilation never looked so good Shut up Hush your mouth, you talk too much Put me out of my misery My mind feels like an archenemy Can't look me in the eyes I don't know what hurts the most Holding on or letting go Reliving my memories And they're killing me one by one And I'm starin' into the void again No one knows what a mess I'm in The voices in my head say I'm just being paranoid But it's bad for my health How much I hate myself I suffocate, the weight It pulls me underneath Put me out of my misery My mind feels like an archenemy Can't look me in the eyes I don't know what hurts the most Holding on or letting go Reliving my memories And they're killing me one by one And it's killing me one by one And they're killing me one by one

Feb 19 2021, 11:06 AM

I've been far away When I see your face My hearts burst into fire! Hearts burst into fire! My bed's so cold, so lonely No arms, just sheets to hold me Has this world stopped turning? Are we forever to be apart?

Feb 18 2021, 10:26 PM

That was a BIG mistake. Hurt myself all over again.

Feb 17 2021, 08:46 PM

Beaut 🖤

Feb 15 2021, 07:01 PM

I'm not sure if it's what is basically a year of being grounded as a nation or turning 30 but the last week all I've done is look back at the past. I have come so close to writing a few letters or random babbles about situations and events. The thing is, I genuinely don't think they'd be accepted happily or if I'd regret it anyway. It's so strange...I feel abit lost but I also feel exactly where I want to be.

Feb 15 2021, 02:32 PM

So leave a light on, I'm coming home It's getting darker, but I'll carry on The sun don't shine, but it never did And when it rains, it fucking pours, but I think I like it And you know that I'm in love with the mess, I think I like it... ... ILY <3

Feb 02 2021, 04:44 PM

La!