now take this sadness and close your eyes, love. hey call the angels, this razor blade was meant for me, hey call the angels, we'll mutilate insanity we sleep forever, by aiden
As I sit here in silence, I look for stars.
I never bothered even trying to wish on one.
For I knew they have already been wished upon by more than one.
I just wish for the most simplest things in life.
Why?
Because I, myself, am not capable of even doing humanly things.
I wish for a friend.
One who would hold my hand no matter what, and be there to comfort me.
Or be one where I could comfort them, and they would still do the same for me.
But I'm incapable of doing so.
For I cannot even speak to one person without trying to scare them away.
I'm just that terrible.
I wish for an image.
That wouldn't look so terrifying in the mirror, or let alone anyone else I know.
Just one that would make people say "I would be okay with them."
But I'm incapable of doing so.
I'm too lazy, weak-minded, and depressed to try.
So I stand, with everything to lose, in the palm of my hands.
I wish for things I can't even try to gain myself.
But what's the point?
I'll never be capable of doing so.
He came back. I thought he disappeared on me for good, but no. My friend says he wasn't avoiding me, but I know everyone does. I'm really glad he's talking to me now. I missed him, and my best friend too. It's hard to be in a decent mood without their insomniac behinds being there at insane times.
Happy New Years all you dickbagels.
Sadly this might be a slight sad one. A transgender/transsexual member died this Sunday, her name was Leelah Alcorn. Parents were strictly Christian and didn't accept her choice to express herself as her.
Leelah is dead because of the people who don't believe. Is it really that important for you to keep your religion than keep your own child?
Honestly. If you're going to be a good parent, don't ignore your child's choices. They are as important as your life is to you.
Please understand that Leelah was also unseen as a female by society. Not only did her parents not accept her, but SOCIETY didn't accept her.
This is a wake up call.
Get off your fucking lazy butts and find a way to let the world understand.
PAINT YOUR RING FINGER PINK! FOR LEELAH ALCORN!!
I'm getting worried about him... It's been three days. He says he was gonna charge his phone that night but he didn't. He hasn't logged on for now over 3 days and no one else has heard from him.
I know it's a terrible thing to think something happened to him but I'm seriously afraid something happened and it's almost because of me.
Please come back............
Honestly, I am actually pretty happy because I found a guy I have come to really like to the point where I want to give him almost the world. Sadly I don't want to be naïve, so I want to try to go a bit slower about it all.
I really like him so when I get the chance, I'm gonna try to ask him out. I'm scared to, but I want the confidence to try. I like him so I want to see if I have a chance with him.
Please give me the confidence, I really will need it.....
I just hope he likes me back the same way.
I told them both how I feel about them, but I don't know why I'm not too happy still. I like them both, they both understand and sort of like me back as a friend. I just get really upset or jealous when there are couples all so happy and flirty with each other. I don't know what to do. I hate to say for them to go away or go into a room because I don't want to be rude, but I don't want to not be there for my friends who need me there.
Well I guess for now I just keep the people in mind and be happy for at least knowing them and having them there for me when I had my ups and downs. Thanks guys.
I hate complaining to people about my personal problems. I hate complaining a lot. I hate how much I don't want to tell anyone about it, but I feel just lonely. I feel desperate because I want to have someone to hold and to kiss and talk to about almost anything and everything. Yeah I feel as though I am asking for a boyfriend or girlfriend, but it's not easy. The girl I kinda wanted likes a different girl. I'm happy for her, so I didn't bother to tell her and I helped her out with the girl she likes. The guys I like, one is taken already and the other I'm not even sure if he likes me back in the same way I do. I find the single guy really nice and sweet to me, and I feel like I have a chance with him, but I'm afraid he's just going to say no.
I'm a slight bit shy but I don't want to drive him away and I don't want to make anyone unhappy.
What do I do? Do I say something to him? Do I ask him out so he could be there to comfort me? I do love them all equally, mainly as friends but I'm not sure I should ask out the single guy.
Should I do it or just stay single?
-I'm not trying to complain, but why am I so lonely all of a sudden? It's been only 2 months since my ex and I broke up, and I keep telling myself to wait until March, maybe even later. I don't want to make a rebound relationship happen again, and I surely don't want to make another mistake in taking a guy who I wouldn't be able to hold for more than a week. I just feel like I'm just going to be lonely forever.
-But is it my fault I'm still single? I know I'm a cunt, and I know I currently show signs of having a concussion, but is it me and not everyone else? My friends seem to understand me and are still around when I have my passive-assertive-aggressive moments. I'm not getting it.
-I was told earlier that my so called "friend" wasn't able to take my passive-aggressive action when I told her that I was mad because she didn't say hi to me the other day when I was obviously visible. I mean I don't know. I know I'm aggressive but is it truthfully my fault that I'm like this? Is my aggression the reason why I'm still single? Is it why I feel so lonely still?
I don't know what to do
I look into his eyes, smiling slightly
Only hoping he'd do the same
It's hard to even realise
I barely know his name
His brother looks a lot like him
Two identical faces, but they aren't the same
Two different personalities
It probably isn't fair game.
Let's just say his name is R
Has a twin and is a junior;
Problem is, he's not the only one I like
For the other one is possibly a senior...
Let's just say his name is Z
He's out of state but in my brain
Crazing my thoughts all the time
And when that's so, I don't feel the same
They both interest me
One is only at my school
I want to say something to one...
But I just don't know what to do........
~Eli (December 11, 2014)
♥♥♥♥
