We all sing the songs of separation
And we watch our lives bleed out through our hands
That's how it was on the first day
When we saw Paris in flames Paris In Flames, by Thursday
Im sick of cutting, burning, and overdosing on drugs! They have done nothing but make me an ugly person... What am i gonna tell my children when they see the scars? Or the night of my honeymoon? Im scared everytime i look in the mirror and fear when the next time someone will ask "what happened?" How do i answer? My body is ugly. Scars are forever even tho they do fade a bit over time... Something i must carry to my grave i guess...
I lay on the ground and can't move... I lie and what for a reason to get up... My every waking moments tortured and to make it worse he's even in my dreams always walking away always. My face is hot and the tears don't help as they roll down my cheeks and my heart pounds my limbs shaking and I can't move but do I want to? This I don't know and I have to find out by myself... Where is he?
New school new people, new terrors.... Nothing to hold my hand, a reassuring nod, a hug, or even a good luck....
Basically I'm scared... What is it I should do???
You loose everything start at the bottom then when you think for a second it might get better BAM! POW! Right to the jaw a if saying what the hell you think it gets better and you see a face laughing only inches away from yours.
Then you fall and punch and kick the ground scream every cuss word you know till you stop only because your so sick from your tantrum. You let it out then look around, the face is gone and your alone. It's my choice rather I stay here and rot and be safe or try again to piss off the laughing face. You spit out a couple teeth and grin. Just a normal day for me...
They say they try. they say they care. they say their honest. they say they want to help. Do they really? Or do they just love the money they get when i pay for their pills
Into the darkness im alone my boyfriend long gone i lost and alone with no hope to hang on to no ine to tell me there is a light at the end of this tunnel just me and the sound of my rapid breathing. What to do when friends loathe you when you are constantly called ugly and ignored. I wish they would just hit me give me some sort of recognition beyond a simple rolling of the eyes. No one to care to to cry to. then again who would want to hear my sappy life story a burden no one wants to cary. Alone
Well another week has pasted and im still here so what to do know? i think i just might have found someone to try for whos "worth my time"... Hope it all goes well and i can actually have something to look forward to. Wish i could see josh and if i did would he like me? would he ever want to see me after words? would i dissapoint him. what to do? sooo many questions almost NO answers so till the rise of the sun tomorrow.
Well I went to school yesterday... It was about as bad as i thought it could be what could i expect when your mom tells you you can no longer shop at hot topic and when she tells you you can no longer be "goth" or "emo"... Even my mom lables me... How can i still express myself when I dont feel comfortable walking around in the clothes that everyone else wears. There is know way to be different. What to do? I used to think the one person I could rely on hits on my friend. how am I expected to trust anyone when I get stabbed?