<b> I'm ok and you?

<b> ello ^_^

hey

Did I write back? I thought I did:( Sorrie..... Thanks for all your advice..... It helped muccho! I'm sorry, I think I might of gaven you bad advice..... Well... Your friend is a girl right? I won't try to sterotype girls but my friends and I are like this. So, your friends...... They are probably going to talk crap about you (don't take it personal) it is pure jealously. I've done it my friends have done it. But only I try to exclude myself from it as much as possible. My friend Destiney use to hang-out with my friends and us. We didn't like her because she was sorrta skanky to us. But I look back on it now. She wasn't. She's just like all of us when were all flirty and what not. Only I don't flirt and exclude my friends unlike OTHER people *cough cough my friends* lmao.but I guess we were just jealous. But I was actually mad because she keeps dating the enchaldas guys then they dump her one day and then gets asked out again then dumped the next day litetrlaly. Sorry, I have ADHD lmao. I need help controolling that. The point is, she made new friends. Eventually everyone else in our group started to acknowledge her more and more everyday.... She didn't hang-out with us very mucch and stuff but we were all still good friends. And she also gained some new friends. Comprehenday? Make some new friends and your old friends will see how you moved onn and maybe do the same and be your friend again...:) I hope this works for you.....

You mean you want to move on? Well, you can't change your past only the future and you can only fix your past mistakes. But not change. So moving on would be good for you. I say you shouldn't just be like their friendship didn't mean anything to you at all in the first place.They'll come around and see how silly they are being. But don't ignore them intierly they are still your friends, you know? Try talking to your closest friend in the group, idk txt messaging. That's what I did. Make your closest best friend understand, you know? Show him your side of the story..... Goodlucks. I know I know I know. I've thought of that already. But he is the horny ass butt wipe that ruined to of my mums relationships. I know. When I was five and he use to give me five dollars to play the videogames in the back of the cafe while him and my mum work on well...work. or while he flirts. At age five my mum and dad also decided to get a divorce..... At age 8/9 my mum was getting engagged to a dude named Joe. Cool dude. Two daughters. Joe and i were going to go get chinesse food right next to the starbucks. Guess who I saw at starbucks looking at me. Next day he calls my mum to tell her he saw me at the cafe. One month later the engagment is off. "where the hell is Joe?" my sister and I asked. He walks threw the door..... He keeps fucking up my life! THAT GOSH DAMN FUCKING HORNY ASS BUTT WIPE COCKY ASS BASTARD WHO THINKS HE IS BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE! JUST BECAUSE HE OWNS FIFTEY EFFING CARS! YOU STILL LIVE WITH YOUR FUCKING MUM AT AGE FORTEY! COURSE YOU HAVE FUCKING CASH! He is like most (not all) of those rich old people that live down by the beach and are on metapose and just because they are "Wiser"(keep dreaming dumbasses) and have the cash that took them their whole live to make they think they are better than the rest. Atleast my house doesn't look like the color of puke and has a one way street to a beach with hobos outside. That little Ass wipe ruined my life twice. I KNOW I KNOW!!! THIS IS MY FUCKING MUM'S LIFE! So, why the hell am I in it. I don't even fucking talk to her! How come the days I leave to my dads they decide to go to palm springs. How come I have to show him goddamn respect when he doesn't! WTF! He thinks everyone should get on the floor and bow to him! Cocky bastard! Just cause he has cash because he doesn't have to spend mucch money cause he lives with his mum at age 40. If my mum wants to go think he is the coolest badass mother efer ever then fine! But I'm sick of it.I'm amost done. If I didn't have summer school because of Avid I'd be at my dads without a worry for months. Going to the mexiican parties. Fantaszing. Zooning out. Going to the most awesomest park ever. Talking to my sisters every night before I go to sleep. But no. I'm stuck here weekeneds. Not talking to my mum or her bf who is now over here every night. Doing homework.Having to look outside at my Boring city that there is nothing to do so everyone just gets high and skateboards. And talking to myself in the mirror at nights and falling asleep to trance music or walking in the hall at night to brush my teeth to haave to hear some sick things. I don't talk to my mum. And don't like him. I've delt with him 5years in a row. My mum *snickers* said she wouldn't marry him. Saying how she wouldn't do that to me. He has already made my mum divorce once and call an engagment off. Obviously there must be chemistry. I'm not good at science. She is in a relationship that will no longer go any closer becasue of..... me...... What would be the diffrence? You tell me? He is here 247 anyways.... I don't talk so what diffrence would it make if I were gone?I'm not going to kill myself. It'd be to hard. But move out? As soon as summer school is out.... I want to go to my old suppose to be high school so badd... My cousin in law told me to go to his school. That was suppose to be my high school. My whole life his city was my hometown. I got no Fs' all year 8th grade.... Just to go to that high school.... For me to end up in a city full of bro hoes. I'm sick of it all. My step-mum told me to keep trying and my dad will soon say that tere will be room for me in the aprt. My real friends are my cousins in law. We can't gossip about each other. My neighbor even went went to my old hometown high school becaus ethat was her hometown to. My real cousins go to that high school to. I guess.... I made my choice. I'll move out as soon as summer school is over. That way both my mum and I will be happy. I'll visit. we will have more to talk about. She can get married. Besides it wouldn't make a diffrence. i'll live in my old hometown. What do you think??? I'm soooooooooooooooo SORRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!! that was whinney of me. This is my problem. And I know everyone has their problems. But the music. ANd the frustration. The rejection. The infrustration! The INSAINTY! I'm tired of bitching and moaning. Why do I do it? I don't know. But I really wantedd to talkk about it to someone..... Other than myself in the mirorr at night. Yes, I know that is so stupid. But it's just so lonely here. And all I can do is relive my greatest memories and fantisies and thoughts is to myself in the mirror at night. My diary is full. And I'm sick of the dark closet. I have nothing to throw at the wall and brake anymore. My head is already screwed on wrong and hurts when I hit the wall. But I'm tired. My blade is longg gone from one of my cousins in law who threw it over the fence. But now I wonder. He askd me why I did it. And said why? How it's wrong. But he just deosn't understand. I hate doing this! This is why I did it! I didn't want to go crying to everyone my problems. But noww look. I just wrote you probelby the biggest cmmt EVER! I hope this doesn't make me a terribble person. Just to much for me to think. lol thxs for the advice:)

Yea, I know Bleach… That sounds scary hard! Savage. Stay safe! Hmmm…. I think I’ll have too pass. Lol I’m to scared too… Are your friends still madd at you? What’d Ryan say about all this? It’s going swell. High School is scary. Lmao. But I’m coming friends with everyone in class and a few outside. The only problem I’m having now is my mum and her bf (yes I hate him) I got in an argument with her over the phone and I haven’t talked to her bf all week\. Not a word. He has been spending the night everyday now. And he knows if I do talk to him I’ll be infuriated and say something smart-ass like. And I was outside (my dads house) buying my sisters and I an ice cream and my mum and her bf drove by. Trying to talk to me and I stayed queit the whole time. Then they were all “Don’t be embarrassed.” Because the ice cream man was standing right there. So I just turned around gave my sister the money and said I had to go inside and turned around and went inside. They CAN’T do that! Act as if nothing has been happening! That I haven’t been okay! WTF! They were just trying to act cool. As if we had a bond. I don’t think so. They need to come back to earth. You don’t force me ot do something! My sister is taking mye to a Bob Marley concert but she flaked out on me. SO I made plans to go to my step familes baby shower. But look who decides not to flake oput the day before all of this. So now I have to misss the party. I soo badly wanted to go/. You don’t even know. Everyone will be there. And not just an one but someone. And now I have to miss it. And as to my mums bf. STFU! GeEZ, I DO’T LIKE him haven’t spoken to him . Obviously I don’t want nothing to do with him. SO they need to stop it . I spent the whole night in my dads bathroom. Sleeping in the bathroiom in the dark. My dad noticed and tried to help and stuff. But I was to uupset. And my sister calls me saying how my mum said I was all upset the day before. And I was all how the fuck would she know. I called her to talk b ut she just called back and my step sis answered the phone and she was all let me get marissal. And my mum said NEvermind and hung-up on her. How the hell would she know. Sorry, I’m just upset right now…..

Gosh, Well, don't gett hurt... Good Luck with that okay. Careful!

:[That's not to swell.... No, of course it isn't! Don't be silly. It isn't your fault that they didn't speak up and it isn't your fault that you also liked him and he liked you back! Things happen. And for a reason. Don't blame yourself! It's all pure green eyed jealousy they are feeling.Just don't rub it in to them and make them feel jealous. Did you tell Ryan? So are your friends hanging-out with you or are they giving you the cold third degrre burnned shoulder? Don't let anyone putcha down or make you feel guilty becasue you have no reason to! Right! What's a spirt match? Well, good Luck! I wish you well! I've enjoyed my 4days vaction before I had to be dragged back to summer school. The library is awesomely huge! They even have the violent magnas! If only the librarian didn't have such a rude attitude.The school is too big though.I won't be able to know everyone by the end of the school year. Oh well, I don't care much I'm gonna move sometime this school year most likely anyway.I met a few kids who like the same anime and stuff as me! I haven't spoken to my friends though. And it's really starting to worry me. My friend Jena was suppose to be at summerschool. I lost my friend Sam to potheads. And tati we're loosing as well. My friend Dianne is a-okay but I think she has people other than the group to hang-out with. Mourica will follow Tati. Donna is moving and Hanah already moved. And my friend Jena is going to be soon brainwashed by cheerleaders! ANd I'm being brainwashed with hip-hop!So, I think I've better stay close to my new friends.... As soon as real high school begins I don't think any of my old friends and I will be saying to many hellos. And there is this one other thing that has been on my mind all week! I'm having constintly in my dreams and I've been having flash-backs like crazy about this on thing.... I do! Why must skaters and preps beat down on the emos? What gives them the right. As longg as emos' and them aren't rude to each other. I hate it when other groups think they're better than others! Or older kids are mucch cooler than the little guy! If they do then they must obviously havve something up their butt and bettter get their head outta their asses and stop picking on the emos.

Hummm..

So how'd your mum feel about your whole job thing?

Gah, getting prepared for school how's that going for you?
Is it exciting knowing you get to start your school year all fresh?

Well, remember to do something spectacular this summer. Like do something to just highlight your summer! Something you'll never forget!

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Hummm. Maybe Avid was a good choice thenJ

I'm sure I can suck it upJ And pretty sure summer school won't be a total bust.

I got my best friend there and a few other aquatics. We had the Avid meeting there.

Hilarious there with my friend! I couldn't stop laughing. And I kinda zoned out and I guess the lady was taking our picture during the presentation and my friend did this cute little pose and I was still starting at my water bottle and my friend kicked me under the table.

Nice, school year hasn't even started and I already got my first picture of me drooling (expression) and looking like a total freak with my mouth open and a stupid expression on my face. Lol.  But I'm sure it'll be fine (summer school) besides my step-families Mexican fiestas aren't until SaturdaysJ

 

So, what do you happen to have planned for this summers? (if you don't mind me being nosey.)

Well that is swell:)
Make some cash and all of what not.

I hope youu do great!

When I die and go to hell!
No no no! I kid I kid.

Well, it would be June 11. (8 days.)

But nope. I have to go too summer school to make room for some more classes next year. I have to go to high school next and I choose and elective called Avid. I'm nott to sure what it's about just that I get scholar ship money in the end and it gets you into alotta university. I got my elevctive (some interview to get Avid) and it is requiered to take summer school.

But I probably shouldn't bitch and moan about it. I gott what I wanted.

I guess I might be over reacting it's only 16dys (4 weeks and no fridays.)

Blah, soo how is your summers going?