Jul 24 2020, 10:44 PM

Hi every1 lol!! I keep forgetting to write idk if it’s bc I just have nothing to say but probably that since I haven’t really been going out! First update I got some fake blood:)! Yay Second is that I got covid bc my friends fake ass DIDNT tell me her family tested positive when I went with her to pick up her stuff from her exes house bc I went as emotional support.... Well besides that I’ve been pretty unhinged mentally but I’ve been doing more makeup / fashion stuff lately u can watch my new video https://youtu.be/1HefdzX28jc here & I have pics on both my priv and public accs which are @pipelinepunched n @babyanimalhospital :) But yea I’m on and off mostly and I have spent most of my time day dreaming abt ***** which is embarrassing... I will get so into it and an hour passes LOL but yeah hope everyone’s doing well!

Jun 29 2020, 04:13 AM

It’s been a while well it feels like so long but it really hasn’t since I last wrote here so I mean it’s good I’m doing it now No major life updates except after a few failed sui attempts I’m back on coping w really harmful things which isn’t that good & I wouldn’t say it’s keeping me alive at least b/c I am hardly even living Besides that I don’t really know what else is going for me beside my body is filled with hate and jealousy and all of those bad things tht U hate to feel .... All I have to say:) ttyl

Jun 19 2020, 07:10 PM

Hi everyone :)!! What’s up I hope everything is treating everyone well I finally broke things off w my abusive ex for real this time and I’ve been spending time w one of the first friends I ever made when I moved here so it’s been fun! Glad mcr did not refund the tickets bc I bought mine with my exes credit card bc she let me 🖤 god bless Anyways I might go back to writing here again soon !!

May 08 2020, 04:17 AM

Okay hi it’s been awhile cuz everyone has a lot going on now bc the pandemic but I am alive btw:) Nothing to update except I’ve dyed my hair a few times and my birthday was last month which was fun and I got animal crossing:))) nothing else 2 say but I will stay updated now thx sm hope u are all well🖤🖤

Feb 22 2020, 05:37 AM

Ok well I’m just gonna make this one where only friends can see it cuz everyone probably already thinks I am crazy bc I have been so upset this month! Unfair but anyways I just don’t want to be putting this information out here for everyone bc I’m just worried my ex would see even tho I blocked her but I literally have not felt this way since last year when me and her dated and that is saying a lot like I’m not gonna get into all that on the public but the fact today is making me feel like when I had nobody and I was just getting abused on the side damn and I really thought I would never get that way again!!! It’s crazy how u will forget how it feels until it happens again oh well at least I know it will be quicker to heal than what she did haha anyways just wanted to get that out bc I was thinking about that today too :-)))

Feb 22 2020, 05:21 AM

2/21/20 Ok hi I know u are all dying to know the updates we’ll basically a lot happened today but I’ll just start with before all that So valentines sucked nothing went how I thought but that’s okay, the next day I went to an art thing they were doing @ a college near me and it was really fun Emily ended up going too but she was mostly complaining the end of the day and had such a bad attitude I understand bc she was tired but it hurt my feelings but it’s ok !! Really I don’t even remember what happened after that I guess it’s not as important so I’ll just start with now Well this morning I woke up with good expectations for today and whenever I do it ends up being the worse thing ever which is exactly what happened! Well first I didn’t even get to take my morning depression nap which just set me up to be upset the rest of the day I just felt like I was gonna cry haha and I just passed out in 3rd period well in 4th I was talking 2 megan who is my bestest friend and she just isn’t listening it’s like talking to a wall well okay maybe she’s having a bad day I tell Emily abt it cuz I just feel like I’m gonna cry all my friends were doing that t me that day and really all week and I painted after that it was good and then I had to go to my class and ppl were talking about how I was a school shooter right in front of my face like I couldn’t hear them and then these bitches called me art ugly like I couldn’t hear them like bitch I’d like to see u do better and I fucking told them that cus they had the audacity to be like Leo I love ur painting like obviously u don’t Well anyways that passed and I didn’t rly care after And then I got to the last class and I said hi to all my friends they still weren’t saying anything so I just lied down and cried cuz idk what u would expect it was just so stressful and I finally look up and I’m like hey???? And only tara is like are u ok megan and Ashton just look and to back to playing in their phone like it was nothing and I just walk out and go to the guidance which I was trying to do all day they finally let me in tho and I felt better until this happened Megan texts me like “we can’t be friends anymore u always put me down and I know what u did with simon” well first she couldn’t even tell me this to my face well she finally texts how I would always embarrass her on purpose which literally never happened and how I texted all these things to him when I texted him like twice cuz I wanted to be nice cuz they used to date and we hung out once and he literally forced me to do drugs with him like ok / and she was acting like I was living a whole double life having a relationship with him?????literallt so crazy and she basically admitted she only hung out with me and included me bc she felt like she had to . 4 or 5 years u dedicated to faking a best friendship and I was literally sobbing the whole day until I finally fell asleep and I was still crying until a few hours ago I just don’t even understand bc we were talking like it was nothing until today and I just don’t even get it sometimes I feel like it’s me and I know it’s not I feel like I’m the only one that’s even changed since all that time ago I just can’t believe she would just throw it all away for what???? She would say how I was the only one she could tell certain things or do things with but I don’t even know if any of that is real anymore I don’t even know what was genuine or what wasn’t because I really thought it was like you know when ur friendship is so good and real like they wouldn’t ever talk about u and would always only say good things I thought I had that but I guess she just didn’t feel the same all that time and nobody wanted to tell me and I know I shouldn’t lean on relationships to make me happy but this is something I just can’t brush off like if it was anyone else!!! Literally we would hang out every week I would do so many nice things for her and she’s do the same cuz we cared for each other and I was the only one that kept contact last year when she was in a foster home like I don’t even know what happened this week and I’m just gonna be stuck on this forever!!!! She always wants to say how grown she is how she’s a woman but she can’t even tell me this to my face she can’t even be honest with me and she literally got engaged with her boyfriend of 5 months (she’s literally a junior in hs😐😐😐) and I’m the kid I guess!!! I kept saying today how I feel like it’s my fault all this happens to me i feel that way a lot but I just don’t even know after this! I know I am so dramatic and emotional just cuz I don’t even take my meds but even I would know not to be fake like that and ruin someone life if I had an issue with a friend I would talk to them to their face and work it out like I always do! She even said “I owe it to you to say it to your face” well why fucking didn’t you then????? I’m sounding all rude and mad right now but I am just still hurting & upset but whatever I don’t even know if I want to do anything this might just be the nail in the coffin for me! The fact she would rather be friends with Ashton just makes no sense either after all she’s done t all of us all the things she would say behind our backs not to even mention how she would sexually assault me and u trust her as ur true friend because she will fucking smoke weed every day?????? No matter how much she’s done I still love her too but what the hell literally I swear it’s just cuz all they want to fucking do is smoke but that’s something 2 complain about another time😐 ok well I am going to shut my mouth before I get more upset over all of this but I just can’t get it out of my mind Sry for the wall if txt and thanks if u got this far :))✌️

Feb 12 2020, 12:24 PM

2/11/20 I pretend like I posted this yesterday cuz I forgot Well things went good 4 me well she said how she felt the same and that was very cool so I don’t really know where to go from there though hahahaha but there’s that besides that I don’t think I have any important updates beside I was up all night thinking about the stuff that happened last year :,) I am okay now tho except I’m super tired and have a headache well I bet all of u were on the edge of ur seat for that update ok bye

Feb 11 2020, 03:06 AM

2/10/20 Hello everyone and welcome back well today I will not be complaining because lucky for everyone I forgot why I was even upset earlier:) Today really was okay 2 me well I do have good things to say about it I wouldn’t be able to earlier until now Well it went off normal like usually except it was super cold 😢😢 I ended up passing out in 2 classes cuz I was soooo weak well anyways I was in the class w all my friends and I layed down on Emily it was soooo comfy and I was so mad when I had to leave haha well anyways after that the day mostly sucked but my friend txted me and was like u should make ur move and I was like 😢idk I’m scared u know what happened last time and she was like Well let’s just say I talked to Emily..... like SHUT UP!! Not in a bad way but that really had me in shock 🥺🥺not in a bad way well mostly I am just anxious now I don’t know how to do those things even though it’s been on my mind for weeks! Anyways I think that’s all unless I need to update later:)

Feb 08 2020, 04:09 AM

2/7/20 Did not write for a few days cuz I had a lot going on and also I just played pkmn all day yesterday 🙏😢 Well today was okay I did some fun makeup but also I am so upset!! I still can not believe the school ive been planning on going to FOREVER got bought out they are tearing down the building and everything!!! Nothing hurt me the way this has and I’m honest like it was such a nice school everything about it was so good too it was the one thing I had going for me after I graduate and now it’s just confirmed I’m going to be unhappy and useless after I graduate :\ it’s honestly so unfair my sister gets everything she is going to a normal college mf Austin peay well ok I’m not I was gnna go to a damn art school because I’m not smart and I can’t even do anything else!!! Honestly I’m going to be upset and worried about this forever it’s not like I could get into any other school because my grades aren’t good and there’s no going back and Art is the one thing I actually had going for me and now I’m gonna be a even bigger disappointment 2 my family cuz I can’t even go at all now!! Literally they always tell me oh I know how you’re not academic smart like ur sister ur more street smart God just say I’m retarded it’s so easy they just know I’m dumb and can’t do anything like that Ugh I just wish I stuck with wanting to be a vet or something like I can not believe this got taken from me When I first heard I honestly started crying!! Like first I can’t believe they even sold the school after being a thing for so long and second I didn’t even know they were actually tearing it down until today :/ I just heard how they were firing all the non Christian ppl or whatever well this is way worse Bc I could probably get away with pretending to be religious maybe 😢😢😢😢 ok well maybe not Ok well rant over I guess not rlly a rant I’m not angry just suuuuper sad 😢😢

Feb 05 2020, 12:35 AM

2/4/20 Hi again well today went really good I think because yesterday I was able to actually sleep :-)) Things went normal as they should which is kind of boring the highlight of my day like always was going into the other art class and staying in there w my friends :-))) me and Emily took some pictures and they were really good 🥺🥺 After that the rest of school was rly easy I do feel kind of sick now but it’s ok I guess :))✌️✌️