Nov 21 2012, 01:05 AM

You do not know me. You judge me when you know my name, maybe a few thing about me, the basics. Well did you know that 4 months after I was born my parents split because my dad was cheating and they fought all the time blah blah blah, normal stuff right? Or that my dad went to live with his mom (he was going far *hint the sarcasm*) We (me and my sister) went to see him every other weekend, he got mad really easily, he would yell and he would spank us with his belt like every other dad but when he was mad...he got MAD, it usually was directed twords me, that's what my sister even said, he would use his big leather belt on the metal buckle side and hit me with it until I bled? Yeah well that happend. Did you know that my mom went off the deep end, She started partying like crazy, doing crack, smoking weed and cigs, and drinking ALOT, she left us at home sometimes by ourselves sometimes with random babysitters, she would come home at like 4 in the morning completly trashed and that she slept all day, We would wake her up and ask for food or something and her answer would be along the lines of "Make it your d*** self!" or "go outside! Your being too loud! I'm trying to sleep!" then go back to sleep? Did you know that my dad also refused to pay child support along with telling my mom he didn't want us but kept seeing us anyways, why? I don't know. Did you know that that went on until I was 6 and my mom got breast cancer? We had to go live with my dad for a while (you can imagine how that went) then my mom got better and we went to live with her again but she fell into a depression, imagine being a 8 year old with your mom in depression, I didn't know why mommy was crying all the time or why she didn't respond at all when we said something, anywho she eventually got out of that and got "saved by jesus christ" and my dad stopped being a jerk about child support, (he still dosn't pay the full amount he's supposed to) well now my mom makes fun of me for who I am, she is my main tormentor, saying i'm "emo", telling me my clothes are ugly, I look like a dyke, telling me maybe if I acted differently maybe I'd actually have friends, if I dressed differently and wore make up maybe boys would actually be interested, I'm a terrible daughter, i'm selfish, i'm a bitch yatta yatta, the list could go on, when I get her really mad she slaps me (that rarely ever happens), my dad....I havent talked to or seen him in months so idk whats up with him. Did you know that in 8th grade I was sexually harassed by a guy in my science class EVERYDAY for the WHOLE YEAR? Or that at the beginning of my freshman year I was sexually harassed by a 24 year old? Or that in the middle of my freshman year I was sexually harassed/ "raped" by my boyfriend at the time? Yeah add abunch of heart break, back stabbing and stuff to it that was my life. Now my best friend who is like my brother has a tumor in his lungs and is fighting for his life. It could have been and could be worse I admit, but now you can at least judge me knowing my story.