1000's of emo guys & girls!
But I'm a creep I'm a wierdo what th hell am I doing here I don't belong here creep, by Radiohead
Levine Blahblah
19 / Male / Washington, United States
Straight / Single
Member since:
Nov 07, 2023
Last online:
Sep 20, 2024
honestly i'm really lonely sometimes, even though i don't even know it or deliberately ignore it or at times try to fix it but I always fail because of the stupid things I've done, now I live a lonely life with nobody to confine for, like I how I used to be, the only few things that really helps is just this diary and I want people to read.
So I'd feel less alone but it doesn't change reality, there's always more to life than this but this is what I have right now, what I feel right now, this feeling which I blamed on that it's my nature, that it was meant to be, that I can't change, that it's what i am and what I've always been, but being a mask isn't what I am, I want you to see who I really am.
It's a similar problem with addiction, where you can't fight against this urge, to isolate myself from others, pushing people away, I resorted to just observing, living inside of my head all the time, sitting in my room playing videogames and listening to music, a term called "escapism" this patterns of behavior that perpetuate these my own isolation.
I'm 20 for f sake man, doing this for what? ranting and hoping to be heard, not the first time and not the last, I wonder if I should hold in my emotions and ignore them again. This is the kind of scenario where you should change but you can't change and there's none to blame but yourself. Needless to say, it's unhealthy.
But I can't continue life living in an illusion and ignoring my mistakes, this is more than just self-loathing, this is the reality that I have to face, I always hoped a day where my life will change but I need to change myself first, not the first time that I've said this and I don't know saying this would even change anything but it's something.
Is this the right place? I guess so, since everybody seems emo.
anything Lovecraft, sci-fi, fantasy, comedy, fiction related
but re-animator or the thing, project x, fright night 2011, drac untold
alex.. mercer or jackie estacado or DEATH (darksider)
