Mar 02 2016, 04:31 PM

Cutting is a problem again.. Why must harm myself to feel alive? Nothing makes me feel alive anymore, even cutting is fading, I've done it so much. I am single now, I cannot do this anymore. I cannot piut him through my bullshit. I can'y hurt anyone else.

Jan 11 2016, 08:08 PM

Um so I got grounded because of my sister telling my parents about me andmy boyfriend. Kinda pissed. gotta say, ruined our relation ship. Pisses me off. thought I could trust her, but then again, who CAN you trust

Dec 23 2015, 02:49 AM

I have to restart my count. I am now about fifteen minutes clean. This time it is on my wrists, usually it isn't there. I have to actually hide them now. My boyfriend can't see them or something bad will happen. Been really suicidal lately. I have attepted to killl myself, runaway and I have written notess and spilt pills out but something is holding me back. I don't know what, though. All I want is to end this ffucking pain but it won't stop. I don't know why I can't just end it! I cry myself to sleep and dream about loss and want to cry and I don't know what to do.....

Dec 20 2015, 01:05 AM

My boyfriend was in rehab for marijuana and alcohol for about 3 months. He has been out about two and he was hanging out with some stupid people last night and he had a relapse. I'm not mad at him, I'm just afraid of losing him for another three months or longer. He isn't going back he is grounded but I really hope he knows how freaking lucky he is that his mom didn't send him away. I wouldn't have blamed her and he knows that. I really hope he stays clean and doesn't relapse on pot again. His mom is going to allow him to drink at home with her around over the summer and that should stop most of his temptations. I really hope everything is okay and this was just a minor setback in a huge operation. ~M

Dec 19 2015, 06:30 AM

Pulling an all nighter bae bae!!!!

Dec 18 2015, 04:11 PM

Heres a quick one. I am in school, 7th grade, and I hate it. I have a boyfriend who is a freshman and we got into a big fight last nght but it was resolved ig. I don't think I would have been able to stop myself from cutting if h broke up with me. I have terrible teachers but two, they are sweet and my parents are demanding whn it comes to my grades. Anything undre a B+ isn't acceptable for them. They don't accept me anyway, but still. ~M

Dec 18 2015, 01:38 AM

Ig I'll just set this as a blog? I will start by telling you that my name is MacKenzie Bieler. I am thirteen years old this month (December) and I am emo ig? I will give you my life story. Uh here it is. So I was born to a very good family back in 02. My mother was sweet and my dad was careful. I had two sisters. The oldest was my dad's ex girlfriend's kid he had with her and the other was still older and her mom was my aunt, but we have the same dad. Then there was me. Three years later, my parents had another baby, my younger sister. After my mom had her, she went crazy. She had heart problems, back problems, she started getting depression and had been diagnised with bi-polar disorder and anxiety. She and my dad would fight literally from when they woke up to the minute they decided that it was enough and went to bed. When I was about 8 or nine, my parents finally got divorced. The divorce didn't really help.My dad started hittin gmy sister and yelling a lot and then i fpund out that my momhad been cheating with a guy and she was pregnant wiht my fourth sister. This was only about six months after the divprce. She then decided to move to South dakota. I live in iowa and she only moved there for her boyfriend because he was on parole and wasn't supposed to be out of state. She has my baby sister nine months later. Right after we finally moved back to IOwa, my mom had pretty much had me raing two kids as well as myself. My childhood was gone. I soon found out about Santa Clause and was supposed to just be okay wiht my life being ripped from me. My dad had about 5 different gir;lfriends. This made me and my older sister's relationsgup with him get weaker everyday. He didn't pay attention to us and we ended up moving a lot. After I went ot my third school i started acting out. So did my sister. Because I was the middle child, my dad didn't notice. But everything my sister did, he knew. He had hit her and yelled at us and called us horrible names. That just pissed us off more. We continured and still continue to act out against him. My mom had beeen calling me names and verbally abusing me a lot and I aquired depression. Along with anxiety and paranoia. I started cutting a while ago. I have felt horrinle and I feel worthless and unneeded everyday. My best frien betrayed me and my boufriend is currently pissed at me. My gma died about a month ago and my uncle two days after her, Another friend died over the summer and os did my aunt. I have had suicidal thoughts a lot lately and have tried and have olanned my own suicide. I guess that is it for now. Um thanks for reading ig ~M