I miss her so much already. We only broke up about an hour ago. I'll never get to hear her speak again. I've never felt so alone. The urge is worse. Everything's worse. Schoo, fafamily, everything. My life's just a great big fuck up. No matter what I do.
Listen to me. Don't commit suicide. Even if you're not thinking about doing it. Never do it. It's a temporary problem. These demons will go. All it does is set off a chain reaction. You do it, then others will. I know I don't talk to all of you, but I love you all as friends and care about you all. I'd miss you all so much. If you need someone to talk to , I'm here. I'm never going anywhere. Love you all, stay strong :)
It was getting better. Then mum found out. I wish she didn't. Maybe she'd leave me alone, stop constantly hugging me. I want this nightmare to end. It's been horrible. I hate this. I hate myself. I hate life. I want to end it. Idk how much longer I'll be alive. Some days I want to end it all, some days I don't. I'm fucking stressed out by everything. It's tearing me apart. I can't take this.
I'm getting worse. I know it. I can't take it anymore. I know I need help. I just can't tell mum. It would break her and I can't go behind her back. I just want to turn back time to before all of this happened. I want the old, happy me back
The sting just feels so nice. It's the only time I actually feel alive. I can't fight it anymore. I've tried. I should just die so I can stop letting everyone down.
So, my mum has a go at me for a brush being 'right in front of me' when I was looking to the side of it, shoves me away from washing that saucepan up and shouts at everyone saying she does everything when she actually doesn't.
Today's been great...
