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Darling I forgive you after all. Anything is better then to be alone. And in the end I guess I had to fall. Always find my place among the ashes. I can't hold on to me, wonder what's wrong with me. Lithium, by Evanescence

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soEmo.co.uk - Emo Kids - xX_Ashton_Havok_Xx

xX_Ashton_Havok_Xx

XxDespairFactionAshtonxX
29 / Male / St. Louis, United States
Pansexual / In a Relationship with GothTaku
Member since: Apr 02, 2021
Last online: Jul 28, 2025

Current rating: 8.1/10 (21 votes cast)

About Me

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Me and Diego the Bat!
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My name is Ashton. I go by Ashton Havok or XxDespairFactionAshtonxX online. I have been emo since 2009. I got into the subculture through my younger cousin who was showing me cool bands on MySpace like Alesana. I fell down that rabbithole and havent come back since. I am now 28 years old. I grew up in Wisconsin, just north of Milwaukee. I moved to the St. Louis, Missouri area in 2015, right after my graduation. I am now taken and living with my amazing girlfriend Juniper (June) Fox. 
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GothTaku

Favourite Music

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AFI, Alesana, Coheed and Cambria, Just Surrender, Matchbook Romance, The Requiem, Your Ghost In Glass, Rosasharin, Of Eden, Sinema, Playing With Knives, Forgotten Alibi, Acceptance, Bleed the Dream, Escape the Fate, From First to Last, Underoath, Senses Fail, Saosin, Taking Back Sunday, Chiodos, A Vain Attempt, Misfits, My Chemical Romance, Aiden, November Blessing,  Alexisonfire, blessthefall, Secondhand Serenade, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, Fall Out Boy, Hawthorne Heights, Finch, Alkaline Trio, Story of the Year, Scary Kids Scaring Kids, Funeral For a Friend, Death in December, Zella Mayzell, Paramore, The Get Up Kids, The Promise Ring, Sunny Day Real Estate, Thursday, Thrice, Armor For Sleep, Jimmy Eat World, Dashboard Confessional, Rites of Spring, The Used, A Static Lullaby, Drop Dead Gorgeous, Emery
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Favourite Films / TV / Books

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Invader Zim, Steven's Untitled Rock Show, Twin Peaks, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Beetlejuice, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, Edward Scissorhands, The Corpse Bride,  Labyrinth, The Neverending Story, Back to the Future, Star Wars, The Dark Crystal, Repo! The Genetic Opera, Legend, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Donnie Darko
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31683k489jvkxou.jpgSteven's Untitled Rock Show - Home | FacebookWatch Every Twin Peaks Episode Before Season 3 Premieres in May 2017794025smo8ts1nj9.gif3531941w49k6ygu6y.gif1158406ut05msyt8l.gif44454fijn4peh2h.gif1271746wsnsb5jv11.gif1982083f9e3ylhw4s.png432611zk6ni7lulw.gif633977n34hox1pmd.png50619k33r7b03cn.jpg454118exeqtbbt33.gif2709220nseh03tsmc.jpg

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Education / Occupation

High School: West Bend East High School
Graduation Year: 2015
Download West Bend East Suns Basketball Logo - West Bend East High School Logo PNG Image with No Background - PNGkey.com



Occupation: Hospital Housekeeper

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Who I'd Like To Meet

OTHER EMO PEOPLE! //_^

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Comments (Add Comment)

jeremydemodionisio
May 21 2021, 11:30 PM

You're welcome! 🤘🔥🖤

Emo Pictures - fluffy_monstrosity
fluffy_monstrosity
Apr 10 2021, 01:16 AM
Yur welcome >^-^<
Emo Pictures - JellyBellyBean1
JellyBellyBean1
Apr 09 2021, 06:09 PM
yw c:
Emo Pictures - X_LoserKidd_X
X_LoserKidd_X
Apr 06 2021, 08:32 PM
You're welcome :)
Emo Pictures - xXeMoRaCeRXx
xXeMoRaCeRXx
Apr 06 2021, 09:42 AM
Thanks. Sure do love my music!
Emo Pictures - xXeMoRaCeRXx
xXeMoRaCeRXx
Apr 06 2021, 01:47 AM
Thanks for the add :]
Emo Pictures - xXeMoRaCeRXx
xXeMoRaCeRXx
Apr 05 2021, 08:10 PM
Heya xX_Ashton_Havok_Xx welcome to soEmo.co.uk Please fill out your profile and add some pics when you get the chance. Even create a journal if you like... Find other members using the Browse feature. View 1000s of emo scene girls and guys pics in the Emo Pictures and Site Models sections. Check out the popular Emo Forums and Emo Chat. Learn all about emo scene music, fashion and lifestyle in the What is Emo section. The site is still in development so if you have any suggestions or problems please email info@soemo.co.uk or check out the help section. -Matt
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Friends

Journal

Jul 18 2025, 07:57 AM

God...is this a safe space? Can I vent for a minute? Can I do it without people jumping down my throat??


Alright, I am doing it. I am pissed. At the beginning of the year, Black Veil Brides decided to tour with Falling In Reverse. Andy confirmed that he is in fact, still friends with Ronnie Radke, even after the guy has been grifting to the far right, even signing up to stream on Kick...but I know most people in the alt scene arent plugged into politics...which is fucking ridiculous cause that's like a huge fucking part of being in alternative spaces. But whatever, yeah Ronnie says racist and queerphobic shit and sends his fucking insane fanbase after teenagers online, sending death threats and cyber harassment, a lot of times over them being trans. Andy has been seeing this behavior, and said "yeah I dont care, in fact, I think it's fucking HILARIOUS." Andy got a lot of push-back for that (rightfully so), and lost some fans (including me). And here he goes writing a song about it, crying the victim, calling his former queer fans "toxic ideologues", when we were just speaking up about how his decisions actually harm us as his fans, putting us in dangerous positions siding with Ronnie and integrating his fans into their spaces. And now BVB is touring with some of my favorite bands (Underoath, Silverstein, and Senses Fail) which is NUTS because BVB isnt even REMOTELY connected to the 2000s post-hardcore scene. In fact, Andy has said he never listened to that stuff and only pretended to, to get fans on Myspace. The only bands from that scene he listened to was AFI, A7X, Atreyu, and Alkaline Trio. And now, I am tempted to reach out to my friend that has connections with Silverstein to give them the rundown on what happened recently (cause they likely are totally unaware), just to inform them, not to make them drop from this tour or anything. I just want them to at least be aware and make some sort of trans-positive statement in case Andy grifts like Ronnie did, so it doesn't look like they are complicit in whatever Andy will be saying in the future. I'm sorry but Andy chooses to bitch about trans fans criticizing him for alienating them, but is fucking CRICKETS about a literal concentration camp/torture center in his current home state?? Anger doesn't come close to describe the way I feel about this. My girlfriend said this will be like David going up against Goliath, but what she forgets is that David won. The odds of people caring about this are against me, but they're not impossible. I am not out to make BVB less famous (let's be real, that is entirely impossible), but I am here to detest this bullshit and hopefully spread awareness, and call out the very real possibility that Andy is gonna do the same shit Ronnie Radke does VERY soon. The writing is on the walls...

Apr 13 2025, 08:49 PM

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So many dark cabaret influenced bands in the top emo bands rating list and not one entry for IAMX, that is a sin.
 

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Mar 20 2025, 07:10 PM

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You guys have to check out this brand new post-hardcore/emo band from Texas called Rosasharin. Their new EP is clearly infuenced by early 2000's emo bands like Thursday, Saosin, and Coheed. I recently found out that they're all still in high school which is INSANE. I havent seen kids forming bands like this in over a decade.

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Mar 20 2025, 07:00 PM

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I just have to put this out here for those who actually read my journals, and you want to add me as a friend. If you GENUINELY think it is possible to separate the art from the artist when it comes to Blood on the Dance Floor, DESPITE the lyrics literally being of Dahvie Vanity straight up bragging about his crimes and taking pride in being an actual monster (yes, that IS what Ima Monster is about), then I find you incredibly suspicious, and I will decline your request. I don't care how "good" the synths and beats are, there is no excusing those lyrics, it's fucking disgusting. There are so many other BETTER electropop/electroclash scene bands out there. Listening to BOTDF is not a requirement to be scene.

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Feb 18 2025, 08:25 PM

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New profile picture! I haven't been on here in years. I lost a lot of weight and can finally fit in my old clothes again!! Yipee! Anyways, has this place gotten a little more active now that emo and scene fashion is becoming more popular again? Or is this place still a desert?

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May 21 2021, 09:07 PM

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I made an AFI Blingee!

May 20 2021, 05:27 PM


This song was hella for its deconstruction of MySpace's toxic culture surrounding the vanity and narcissisms we all had back in the day. Can I say things changed with websites like Instagram being the new "model" sight now? 

May 20 2021, 05:24 PM

Im still wondering how active this website still is. It's been around for so long, I hope that people are still using and joining. 

May 20 2021, 03:53 AM

I have not been active in a while but for some weird reason my profile kept saying I was in a relationship with a user named xChibi, even when I kept trying to change it to my ACTUAL boyfriend GothTaku. This new layout is cool but now my profile doesn't play music anymore ;-;

Apr 25 2021, 12:46 AM
▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞ "Now I lay here owing my life to a stranger and I realize that empty words are not enough. I'm left here with the question of just what have I to show except the promises I never kept? I lie here shaking on this bed under the weight of my regret." I finally got a new doctor cause I think my last one got fired for incompetence (???) and it has been freaking GREAT so far. HUGE improvement. He listened to all my medical concerns this time and got my meds sent in correctly. My last doctor seemed to treat me like some sort of hypochondriac when I would express my concern over my extremely rapid weight gain over the past year or so. Of course I had legitimate concerns and I knew it was very much abnormal to gain almost 100lbs in a year. I told my new doctor that I think I might have hypothyroidism and he knew exactly which tests to run in the labs and behold- it confirmed my suspicions!! I have hypothyroidism! He's putting me on some new meds soon and he said that it should give me more energy and help me with weight loss! I cant wait to see what it is like to not be so tired all of the time. ▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞

Jul 18 2025, 07:57 AM

God...is this a safe space? Can I vent for a minute? Can I do it without people jumping down my throat??


Alright, I am doing it. I am pissed. At the beginning of the year, Black Veil Brides decided to tour with Falling In Reverse. Andy confirmed that he is in fact, still friends with Ronnie Radke, even after the guy has been grifting to the far right, even signing up to stream on Kick...but I know most people in the alt scene arent plugged into politics...which is fucking ridiculous cause that's like a huge fucking part of being in alternative spaces. But whatever, yeah Ronnie says racist and queerphobic shit and sends his fucking insane fanbase after teenagers online, sending death threats and cyber harassment, a lot of times over them being trans. Andy has been seeing this behavior, and said "yeah I dont care, in fact, I think it's fucking HILARIOUS." Andy got a lot of push-back for that (rightfully so), and lost some fans (including me). And here he goes writing a song about it, crying the victim, calling his former queer fans "toxic ideologues", when we were just speaking up about how his decisions actually harm us as his fans, putting us in dangerous positions siding with Ronnie and integrating his fans into their spaces. And now BVB is touring with some of my favorite bands (Underoath, Silverstein, and Senses Fail) which is NUTS because BVB isnt even REMOTELY connected to the 2000s post-hardcore scene. In fact, Andy has said he never listened to that stuff and only pretended to, to get fans on Myspace. The only bands from that scene he listened to was AFI, A7X, Atreyu, and Alkaline Trio. And now, I am tempted to reach out to my friend that has connections with Silverstein to give them the rundown on what happened recently (cause they likely are totally unaware), just to inform them, not to make them drop from this tour or anything. I just want them to at least be aware and make some sort of trans-positive statement in case Andy grifts like Ronnie did, so it doesn't look like they are complicit in whatever Andy will be saying in the future. I'm sorry but Andy chooses to bitch about trans fans criticizing him for alienating them, but is fucking CRICKETS about a literal concentration camp/torture center in his current home state?? Anger doesn't come close to describe the way I feel about this. My girlfriend said this will be like David going up against Goliath, but what she forgets is that David won. The odds of people caring about this are against me, but they're not impossible. I am not out to make BVB less famous (let's be real, that is entirely impossible), but I am here to detest this bullshit and hopefully spread awareness, and call out the very real possibility that Andy is gonna do the same shit Ronnie Radke does VERY soon. The writing is on the walls...

Comments (Add Comment)

  • Enter Content Here...


Apr 13 2025, 08:49 PM

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So many dark cabaret influenced bands in the top emo bands rating list and not one entry for IAMX, that is a sin.
 

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Mar 20 2025, 07:10 PM

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You guys have to check out this brand new post-hardcore/emo band from Texas called Rosasharin. Their new EP is clearly infuenced by early 2000's emo bands like Thursday, Saosin, and Coheed. I recently found out that they're all still in high school which is INSANE. I havent seen kids forming bands like this in over a decade.

▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞

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Mar 20 2025, 07:00 PM

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I just have to put this out here for those who actually read my journals, and you want to add me as a friend. If you GENUINELY think it is possible to separate the art from the artist when it comes to Blood on the Dance Floor, DESPITE the lyrics literally being of Dahvie Vanity straight up bragging about his crimes and taking pride in being an actual monster (yes, that IS what Ima Monster is about), then I find you incredibly suspicious, and I will decline your request. I don't care how "good" the synths and beats are, there is no excusing those lyrics, it's fucking disgusting. There are so many other BETTER electropop/electroclash scene bands out there. Listening to BOTDF is not a requirement to be scene.

▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞

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Feb 18 2025, 08:25 PM

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New profile picture! I haven't been on here in years. I lost a lot of weight and can finally fit in my old clothes again!! Yipee! Anyways, has this place gotten a little more active now that emo and scene fashion is becoming more popular again? Or is this place still a desert?

▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞

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  • Enter Content Here...


May 21 2021, 09:07 PM

9140460a812de7338c6.33304189.png


I made an AFI Blingee!

Comments (Add Comment)

  • Enter Content Here...


May 20 2021, 05:27 PM


This song was hella for its deconstruction of MySpace's toxic culture surrounding the vanity and narcissisms we all had back in the day. Can I say things changed with websites like Instagram being the new "model" sight now? 

Comments (Add Comment)

  • Enter Content Here...


May 20 2021, 05:24 PM

Im still wondering how active this website still is. It's been around for so long, I hope that people are still using and joining. 

Comments (Add Comment)

  • Enter Content Here...


May 20 2021, 03:53 AM

I have not been active in a while but for some weird reason my profile kept saying I was in a relationship with a user named xChibi, even when I kept trying to change it to my ACTUAL boyfriend GothTaku. This new layout is cool but now my profile doesn't play music anymore ;-;

Comments (Add Comment)

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Apr 25 2021, 12:46 AM

▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞ "Now I lay here owing my life to a stranger and I realize that empty words are not enough. I'm left here with the question of just what have I to show except the promises I never kept? I lie here shaking on this bed under the weight of my regret." I finally got a new doctor cause I think my last one got fired for incompetence (???) and it has been freaking GREAT so far. HUGE improvement. He listened to all my medical concerns this time and got my meds sent in correctly. My last doctor seemed to treat me like some sort of hypochondriac when I would express my concern over my extremely rapid weight gain over the past year or so. Of course I had legitimate concerns and I knew it was very much abnormal to gain almost 100lbs in a year. I told my new doctor that I think I might have hypothyroidism and he knew exactly which tests to run in the labs and behold- it confirmed my suspicions!! I have hypothyroidism! He's putting me on some new meds soon and he said that it should give me more energy and help me with weight loss! I cant wait to see what it is like to not be so tired all of the time. ▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞▞

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