XxDespairFactionAshtonxX
28 / Male / St. Louis, United States
Pansexual / In a Relationship with GothTaku
Member since:
Apr 02, 2021
Last online:
Jan 13, 2023
Current rating: 7.8/10 (18 votes cast)
You have rated xX_Ashton_Havok_Xx
My name is Ashton. I go by Ashton Havok or XxDespairFactionAshtonxX online. I have been emo since 2009. I got into the subculture through my younger cousin who was showing me cool bands on MySpace like Alesana. I fell down that rabbithole and havent come back since. I am now 26 years old. I grew up in Wisconsin, just north of Milwaukee. I moved to the St. Louis, Missouri area in 2015, right after my graduation. I am now taken and living with my amazing girlfriend Juniper (June) Fox.
AFI, Alesana, Aiden, Black Veil Brides, Escape the Fate, Coheed and Cambria, From First to Last, Underoath, Senses Fail, Saosin, Taking Back Sunday, Chiodos, A Vain Attempt, Misfits, My Chemical Romance, November Blessing, Tokio Hotel, Alexisonfire, blessthefall, Secondhand Serenade, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, Fall Out Boy, Simple Plan, Hawthorne Heights, Finch, Alkaline Trio, Story of the Year, Scary Kids Scaring Kids, Funeral For a Friend, Death in December, Zella Mayzell, Good Charlotte, The All-American Rejects, Paramore, Mayday Parade, Cute is What We Aim For, The Academy Is..., The Get Up Kids, The Promise Ring, Sunny Day Real Estate, Funeral Diner, I Hate Myself, Pg.99, Thursday, Thrice, The Early November, Armor For Sleep, Jimmy Eat World, Brand New, Dashboard Confessional, Rites of Spring, The Used, A Day to Remember, A Static Lullaby, Drop Dead Gorgeous, Emery
Invader Zim, Steven's Untitled Rock Show, Twin Peaks, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Beetlejuice, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, Edward Scissorhands, The Corpse Bride, Labyrinth, The Neverending Story, Back to the Future, Star Wars, The Dark Crystal, Repo! The Genetic Opera, Legend, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Donnie Darko
This song was hella for its deconstruction of MySpace's toxic culture surrounding the vanity and narcissisms we all had back in the day. Can I say things changed with websites like Instagram being the new "model" sight now?
I have not been active in a while but for some weird reason my profile kept saying I was in a relationship with a user named xChibi, even when I kept trying to change it to my ACTUAL boyfriend GothTaku. This new layout is cool but now my profile doesn't play music anymore ;-;
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"Now I lay here owing my life to a stranger and I realize that empty words are not enough. I'm left here with the question of just what have I to show except the promises I never kept? I lie here shaking on this bed under the weight of my regret."
I finally got a new doctor cause I think my last one got fired for incompetence (???) and it has been freaking GREAT so far. HUGE improvement. He listened to all my medical concerns this time and got my meds sent in correctly. My last doctor seemed to treat me like some sort of hypochondriac when I would express my concern over my extremely rapid weight gain over the past year or so. Of course I had legitimate concerns and I knew it was very much abnormal to gain almost 100lbs in a year. I told my new doctor that I think I might have hypothyroidism and he knew exactly which tests to run in the labs and behold- it confirmed my suspicions!! I have hypothyroidism! He's putting me on some new meds soon and he said that it should give me more energy and help me with weight loss! I cant wait to see what it is like to not be so tired all of the time.
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HEY GUYS! My boyfriend rejoined this website again under a new account! You should add him, he is super cool!
https://www.soemo.co.uk/users/GothTaku/
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"Hey call the angels, this razorblade was meant for me. Hey, call the angels, we'll mutilate insanity."
I am so bored. I got back on tumblr after I found out that they finally have an officially MySpace theme, and decorated my PC layout. I havent been active on social media as often in the past yaer and I am getting back into it. Nothing new has happened.
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"Dear Mariah, the worlds not big enough for the both of us when we live in the same town. Fight on Fire, burn my hands till I got nothing left to count my numbers on..."
I'm feeling great! I finally got the shot of course, and the side effects (arm soreness and joint aches) are gone, and I was able to work today without any problems at all! I saw some douchebags quoting an alt-right article today about the rapper DMX actually dying from his vaccination, which to say, he did not even have his shot around the time of his massive heart attack. In fact, it was brought on by YEARS of cocaine abuse. The original article I saw has completely disappeared though, but it was not one bit credible. I survived it without any issues. I highly recommend it. Only minor inconveniences in the immediate 24 hours but its worth having the immunity and being free again. STILL WEAR YOUR MASKS THOUGH.
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RANT AHEAD!
I am getting so fed up with the grooming problem in the emo scene. This is not a new problem either. We have been experiencing this serious issue since the beginning of emo internet culture. Older individuals, mostly men, have been invading the scene and using it as a "safe space" for their disgusting behavior. In the 2000s, it was practically normalized for teens to be with adults. It was even encouraged often in peer groups as a status symbol. Teens had no capacity to understand the significant danger they were in back then. This was so out of hand that there was also a massive victim blaming rape culture all over MySpace. If news got out that you were groomed by someone and raped, you would be bullied, called a "whore" etc. Mr. MySpace is a very famous example of the types that plagued the scene and ruined the lives of teen girls all around the world. Or remember Jessi Slaughter (now Damien) and how bad they were harassed after the world found out that Dahvie Vanity raped her? I have spoken to them personally recently and heard some straight up horror stories of what was happening to them at the time, and no one was there for them. Ian Watkins literally got fans to almost let him rape their literal INFANTS. More recent, Austin Jones was trying to get teens to twerk for him. Destrey Smith? Groomer. Jesse Lacey? Manipulator and alleged pedophile. This is still a huge ongoing problem. And I believe very strongly has contributed to the near death of our scene. It was so toxic. And I am noticing an improvement on our tolerance to this kind of thing but it's not dealt with head-on like it should be. It needs to be eradicated. We need to be loud about this.
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"You left me at the altar, my heart in my hand. I am tired and broken, haunted by memories of the life you stolen."
I got my first COVID-19 shot yesterday!!! It didn't really hurt at first. It was a very quick shot and I felt perfectly fine at first. When I got home I took a nap, and after I woke up, I noticed my right arm was extremely sore. I could barely lift it. I has had mild joint aches in my hands, but those went as soon as they came. I made sure to stay hydrated the entire time. Today, I woke up and my arm felt a lot better. It's still somewhat sore but not as bad as yesterday. I still only have limited movement, and can only lift so much and hold my arm so high, but I think it will be fine tomorrow. My next shot is May 6th, and I will finally be in the clear to live life normally again. I want to go to a zoo or something.
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