....*sigh* i dont think there are words to describe how i'm feeling..found out some terrible news of a friend of mine..i feel sick to my stomach at the thought..i'm doing evrything in my power to stay strong for evry1 that i made my promise to..i've gone a whole month so far btw..god i need a pill or something to take this pain away..3
i must say out of all the days of torture i faced this one was the most horrific i ran home and cried til i saw blood..i cant take this anymore..u promised to treasure and guard my heart but ur just like the rest..u played with me like a toy and now each day that i wish i was dead was from ur carelessness...im gone like the wind..i just wanna be left alone like ive always been since i was born into this godforsaken planet...
considering how i felt this morning i feel pretty awesome right now idk if its the caffine in this coffee or wat but i feel pretty calm and happy today :) but then again i tend to be happy when things r going so well ^^ lets hope it lasts btw i really wanna write a song any1 wanna help? i really need it i suck at writing songs alone D: message me if you wanna help me out ^^
this is one of those days where i wished i'd never be born. all i want is for bitter sweet death to take its toll and do it soon. im tired of waiting for someone to come along and save me from distress. frankly, i've given up on hope. everyone that's tried has given up on me. when will i find the one person who will welcome me with open arms and make me feel like im worth something in this god forsaken hell we call earth. pleae, i'll i've ever wanted was true acceptance and someone to understand my problems and help me through them no matter the cost. to those who may be wondering, i've kept my promise for 2 weeks now but i dont know how much longer it'll last...
i dont think ill truely be happy until im on the floor gasping for air my blood steaming bright red from my opened veins ill feel so cold so bitterly cold but at least then the cold will numb the pain that aches deep in my chest im going numb im growing cold each breath i take feels like a knife jabbed deep in my lungs but id rather take this pain than the pain you left me to suffer with..
this depression is devouring my being all that i am is starting to fade i feel
like im slipping away and i pray that each second of it comes quickly maybe once
im gone ill be rid of this pain once and for all i need something more than a
pill to escape this horrible fate that lies ahead with my name branded on it im
falling in deeper and deeper showing no possible ounce of salvation what are my
options i could scream with all my soul but no one will here me i run on a
different wave length so im naturally tuned out of society's inner circle..
